Okay... I have a new blog in which this one will get closed, but I will give some time for that to happen.
http://angelarushton.blogspot.com
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
He's Home!!
Today has been a wonderful day! It started very early with me getting up at 5am, but it was worth it very much!! I got to the Hendrickson's home, and we loaded up to head to Dallas. Todd was coming home today from serving two years in Chile, and I was not going to miss seeing him!!!
It was absolutely amazing seeing him, and I cried. I was the first person to see him, and they all said I was jumping straight up and down like their dog Lilly. LOL! I didn't care one bit as I just know I saw him, and was so excited!
Todd is like a little brother, best friend, guy I've known for years. He is absolutely amazing, and it was just fun to be with him all day. I have missed him so much, and he is now home! It's going to be different since I am married now as we won't get to hang out like we used to or just talk forever. But he's home, and that's all that matters!!!
It was absolutely amazing seeing him, and I cried. I was the first person to see him, and they all said I was jumping straight up and down like their dog Lilly. LOL! I didn't care one bit as I just know I saw him, and was so excited!
Todd is like a little brother, best friend, guy I've known for years. He is absolutely amazing, and it was just fun to be with him all day. I have missed him so much, and he is now home! It's going to be different since I am married now as we won't get to hang out like we used to or just talk forever. But he's home, and that's all that matters!!!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
So Many Thoughts
It's 12:38am, and I am still up. I really don't know why as I worked a busy day today, yesterday, the day before, and the day before, and well, the day before. However, I am still up. The brain keeps going, and I'm just trying to find out where to place it all.
1) I miss dancing so much! Once I get some money, I'm thinking I'm going to check out The Bar Method. It would bring back some ballet in my life, and maybe help me feel a little better about myself. I do not like how my body is right now, and I know, I just have to get out there and do something. But that's hard to do alone - when you aren't really sure what you need to do.
2) Oh the self image. Okay, I know it's something I probably talk about a lot, but it effects me just that much. I don't like my hair, my skin color, or my weight. I've never liked the proportions of my body, but that's a little better. I paid to fix what I couldn't stand. Hey - it works!
3) Work has become my life! I think about it all the time, and I just hope that I can be the best manager possible. I hope that I can help my employees out to grow and gain skills. Don't ever go from a boring desk job to an on your feet all day, every day job. It certainly gets to you, but I'm loving it! I love working for maurices! It's an amazing company, and I hope to be there till I just can't go anymore.
4) So I want my own family - my own children; however, I don't want to give up work. Well, I don't plan on it. I will be that mom who puts her child in daycare at a very early age. I grew up in daycare, and I turned out perfectly fine. My children will have 6-12 weeks of me, and then it's time to get back to work. But then it just makes me wonder... do I even need to have children? I don't want to raise children in this area anyways, and then I won't even be around. For some that's such an easy answer, but for me, I really am not sure. I guess if/when that time comes, I'll figure something out. I mean, I do work for an amazing company that wants you to have family time! And of course, I think about getting pregnant and having the worst issues with gaining weight. UGH!
See... I told you my brain was running.
5) Church! That will probably always be a battle, and everyone will have their opinions about it. To some it's so easy, and to others, it just doesn't make sense. I haven't been for a month for one reason or another, and won't be there for another two weeks. Honestly, I don't miss it. I guess I probably should, but I never really enjoyed going so why would I miss it. Right now, I couldn't tell you where I wanted to be or what I wanted in this area. I thought I knew, but I must not have. It really shouldn't be this hard, and it shouldn't split people, families apart! And besides, I can promise you that the best people I know are not LDS. Not that I don't know some great people who are, but really, the best people I know are not LDS or at least not active.
Just a lot to think about, and I'm sure there's so much more. Like why I had a dream that I was running away from some creeps trying to I guess kill me with someone else and my dog Lexie. Yea, that was weird!
1) I miss dancing so much! Once I get some money, I'm thinking I'm going to check out The Bar Method. It would bring back some ballet in my life, and maybe help me feel a little better about myself. I do not like how my body is right now, and I know, I just have to get out there and do something. But that's hard to do alone - when you aren't really sure what you need to do.
2) Oh the self image. Okay, I know it's something I probably talk about a lot, but it effects me just that much. I don't like my hair, my skin color, or my weight. I've never liked the proportions of my body, but that's a little better. I paid to fix what I couldn't stand. Hey - it works!
3) Work has become my life! I think about it all the time, and I just hope that I can be the best manager possible. I hope that I can help my employees out to grow and gain skills. Don't ever go from a boring desk job to an on your feet all day, every day job. It certainly gets to you, but I'm loving it! I love working for maurices! It's an amazing company, and I hope to be there till I just can't go anymore.
4) So I want my own family - my own children; however, I don't want to give up work. Well, I don't plan on it. I will be that mom who puts her child in daycare at a very early age. I grew up in daycare, and I turned out perfectly fine. My children will have 6-12 weeks of me, and then it's time to get back to work. But then it just makes me wonder... do I even need to have children? I don't want to raise children in this area anyways, and then I won't even be around. For some that's such an easy answer, but for me, I really am not sure. I guess if/when that time comes, I'll figure something out. I mean, I do work for an amazing company that wants you to have family time! And of course, I think about getting pregnant and having the worst issues with gaining weight. UGH!
See... I told you my brain was running.
5) Church! That will probably always be a battle, and everyone will have their opinions about it. To some it's so easy, and to others, it just doesn't make sense. I haven't been for a month for one reason or another, and won't be there for another two weeks. Honestly, I don't miss it. I guess I probably should, but I never really enjoyed going so why would I miss it. Right now, I couldn't tell you where I wanted to be or what I wanted in this area. I thought I knew, but I must not have. It really shouldn't be this hard, and it shouldn't split people, families apart! And besides, I can promise you that the best people I know are not LDS. Not that I don't know some great people who are, but really, the best people I know are not LDS or at least not active.
Just a lot to think about, and I'm sure there's so much more. Like why I had a dream that I was running away from some creeps trying to I guess kill me with someone else and my dog Lexie. Yea, that was weird!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
UTAH!
The Utah trip was a great trip! It's going to be so weird going back to work tomorrow, but I have enjoyed having a break. We had a lot of fun with each other, and just enjoying the beautiful weather. Oh, I would love to be back there!!
I'm sad that I didn't get to see everyone, but I know I'll get back! There's no doubt about it!
One last exciting thing... tomorrow is my first day as STORE MANAGER!! I'm so excited to be going back to maurices!! It's going to be great!!!
I'm sad that I didn't get to see everyone, but I know I'll get back! There's no doubt about it!
One last exciting thing... tomorrow is my first day as STORE MANAGER!! I'm so excited to be going back to maurices!! It's going to be great!!!
Sunday, July 10, 2011
The Week that Almost Took My Trip
I tend to stress out about money, and when things happen unexpectedly, I get even more stressed. This week brought that on greatly along with making me wonder if I was going to get my trip to Utah or not. Now if you have followed anything I've shared, I miss Utah!! I want to get back so badly!
Well, how could this week be so bad that it would cause me to stress out and almost lose my trip to Utah with the husband - I will tell you.
Sunday was the start of it all. The internet just cut off completely and then came back on. Okay, that can happen so no big deal, but then all the power within the house went off. It was off for about a minute or so before it came back on. This is just at our house. It did it again later on. Oh so frustrating!!
Monday night, the power went off and came back on again. UGH!
Wednesday is when it really went down hill... the power went out and wasn't coming back on. There was nothing coming through except just a little juice as the fan might run some, but everything else is dim or dead. It was a really odd situation. So, we stay at Brandon's parents.
Thursday they are supposed to get it all fixed... we find out that it was a connecting piece to the meter that burned up - literally. After lots of frustrating conversations, it wasn't going to be completed by the night. The meter wasn't going to be put back on till the next day at some point. Actually, I was told 3-5 business days. :-/ Brandon's parents house again.
Friday morning I come by to check up on Squeaker, and the Oncor guy is here!! We have power again!! However, it went downhill at lunch time... the a/c is broke!! Brandon's parents again. It's looking like we won't have a/c till Monday... maybe.
It's Saturday, and Terry (Brandon's dad) calls his HVAC guy. Oh this was a great thing! 11:30pm I was able to pack up and come home. It's cooling down as I type this, and although I have two bills coming my way - UGH! - it isn't going to cost an arm and a leg!!
Turned out that someone stepped on the copper wiring that broke and caused all the freon to spill out.
Two weeks till Utah!!
Well, how could this week be so bad that it would cause me to stress out and almost lose my trip to Utah with the husband - I will tell you.
Sunday was the start of it all. The internet just cut off completely and then came back on. Okay, that can happen so no big deal, but then all the power within the house went off. It was off for about a minute or so before it came back on. This is just at our house. It did it again later on. Oh so frustrating!!
Monday night, the power went off and came back on again. UGH!
Wednesday is when it really went down hill... the power went out and wasn't coming back on. There was nothing coming through except just a little juice as the fan might run some, but everything else is dim or dead. It was a really odd situation. So, we stay at Brandon's parents.
Thursday they are supposed to get it all fixed... we find out that it was a connecting piece to the meter that burned up - literally. After lots of frustrating conversations, it wasn't going to be completed by the night. The meter wasn't going to be put back on till the next day at some point. Actually, I was told 3-5 business days. :-/ Brandon's parents house again.
Friday morning I come by to check up on Squeaker, and the Oncor guy is here!! We have power again!! However, it went downhill at lunch time... the a/c is broke!! Brandon's parents again. It's looking like we won't have a/c till Monday... maybe.
It's Saturday, and Terry (Brandon's dad) calls his HVAC guy. Oh this was a great thing! 11:30pm I was able to pack up and come home. It's cooling down as I type this, and although I have two bills coming my way - UGH! - it isn't going to cost an arm and a leg!!
Turned out that someone stepped on the copper wiring that broke and caused all the freon to spill out.
Two weeks till Utah!!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Stuck
Do you ever just feel.... stuck?! Stuck in a town or a situation. Stuck in a job or relationship. Stuck in a way of life that doesn't seem to fit you or maybe you don't fit.
Now, I'm not saying that I'm stuck in a relationship because I love my husband. We are still growing, but it's going forward which is so comforting. I tend to get a little selfish or jealous with/about him as I just don't want to share. It really would be okay if he was with me all the time after and before work. But maybe I would think differently if that was the case. hehe
However, I do feel stuck! I feel stuck in Nacogdoches (which is great for some, but not for me). I feel stuck in a job that honestly, I can't stand one bit (that's a totally different story!). I feel stuck trying to be someone that I'm not 100% sure if it's me. Being me should be the one thing that I am good at being!
How do you get unstuck? I can apply for jobs, but then I just sit and wait. I'm trying to be patient, but I'm not a very patient person when I'm needing to find some kind of happiness. Leaving Nacogdoches isn't in the pictures for a few years for different reasons, but if I get a new job and the one I want, it wouldn't be too bad. I could make Nacogdoches work for a bit longer. And as for me personally... I just really don't know. That's been an on-going battle for some time.
Stuck is how I feel, and I'm ready to get some Goof Off to get rid of all the stickiness that has kept me stuck!!
Now, I'm not saying that I'm stuck in a relationship because I love my husband. We are still growing, but it's going forward which is so comforting. I tend to get a little selfish or jealous with/about him as I just don't want to share. It really would be okay if he was with me all the time after and before work. But maybe I would think differently if that was the case. hehe
However, I do feel stuck! I feel stuck in Nacogdoches (which is great for some, but not for me). I feel stuck in a job that honestly, I can't stand one bit (that's a totally different story!). I feel stuck trying to be someone that I'm not 100% sure if it's me. Being me should be the one thing that I am good at being!
How do you get unstuck? I can apply for jobs, but then I just sit and wait. I'm trying to be patient, but I'm not a very patient person when I'm needing to find some kind of happiness. Leaving Nacogdoches isn't in the pictures for a few years for different reasons, but if I get a new job and the one I want, it wouldn't be too bad. I could make Nacogdoches work for a bit longer. And as for me personally... I just really don't know. That's been an on-going battle for some time.
Stuck is how I feel, and I'm ready to get some Goof Off to get rid of all the stickiness that has kept me stuck!!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
To Go Back
Do you ever think back over your life, and think to yourself, I would love to go back to ______ time? I usually don't, but there are a few moments that I wouldn't mind going back to at all.
1) Living in Utah. I miss those 2 1/2 years. They weren't the easiest, but there are so many great memories that I have. There were so many wonderful moments; so many growing moments.
2) EFY San Antonio 1 -- Become Strong!! Such an amazing group! They made me want to be better, and honestly, they still do!!
3) EFY San Antonio 3 -- Full of Love!! By now I had developed a few great friendships and just enjoyed growing with my group. They were wonderful! I really did and do love working with the youth!
Yes, I love my life, and things really are just getting better and better. Things are improving, and I know that there is so much happiness and joy in my future. But those three things just mean so much to me, and are the memories I never want to lose. They were happy! They were full of peace! They were ME!
1) Living in Utah. I miss those 2 1/2 years. They weren't the easiest, but there are so many great memories that I have. There were so many wonderful moments; so many growing moments.
2) EFY San Antonio 1 -- Become Strong!! Such an amazing group! They made me want to be better, and honestly, they still do!!
3) EFY San Antonio 3 -- Full of Love!! By now I had developed a few great friendships and just enjoyed growing with my group. They were wonderful! I really did and do love working with the youth!
Yes, I love my life, and things really are just getting better and better. Things are improving, and I know that there is so much happiness and joy in my future. But those three things just mean so much to me, and are the memories I never want to lose. They were happy! They were full of peace! They were ME!
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Wire Jewelry!
We are all looking for new things that are cute, fun, and special. I have just the thing for you!
My really good friend, Laure Dowling, has started creating cute, fun, and special items made out of wire. Check out her store on Etsy. More will come if she gets the business, and I can tell you this, I am trying to figure out what I want without spending too much!! :) I think you'll all love them!
http://www.etsy.com/shop/LaleePops82
My really good friend, Laure Dowling, has started creating cute, fun, and special items made out of wire. Check out her store on Etsy. More will come if she gets the business, and I can tell you this, I am trying to figure out what I want without spending too much!! :) I think you'll all love them!
http://www.etsy.com/shop/LaleePops82
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Scentsy!!
I am now an Independent Scentsy Consultant!!
Please check out my website at https://rushtonscents.scentsy.us
I'm super excited about this, and I hope you'll host a party! There are many different options. What's better than a wickless candle that lasts?! I know of nothing.
Let me know if you would like to host a party, purchase online, or join my team! I am here for you to make it as easy as possible!!
Also, look for my company page on Facebook... Rushton Scents :)
Please help me reach my goals as I work towards finding a way to bring in extra money for my family!!
PS - I will travel to you for your party!!
Please check out my website at https://rushtonscents.scentsy.us
I'm super excited about this, and I hope you'll host a party! There are many different options. What's better than a wickless candle that lasts?! I know of nothing.
Let me know if you would like to host a party, purchase online, or join my team! I am here for you to make it as easy as possible!!
Also, look for my company page on Facebook... Rushton Scents :)
Please help me reach my goals as I work towards finding a way to bring in extra money for my family!!
PS - I will travel to you for your party!!
Saturday, May 28, 2011
My Home...
We were once working so hard on the house, and now, nothing has happened. It's just not together, and it makes me sad. So now, I'm trying to decide what all I want to do and need to do. Maybe you can help?!?!
The following pictures are of our living room. This room has probably had the most work done, but there is still so much to do. For sure, I want to paint the ceiling white; however, I'm debating on removing the popcorn or not. I know it would be a lot of work, but honestly, I hate that stuff. I love black, khaki, and white together. That's pretty much what we have going; however, there are certainly a lot of other colors. I do have our vases from our unity sand ceremony on the mantel, and then my flowers on a bookcase. I want to cover the couches so they match, but I have no clue how to do that. Let me know what your thoughts are!!
The following pictures are of our living room. This room has probably had the most work done, but there is still so much to do. For sure, I want to paint the ceiling white; however, I'm debating on removing the popcorn or not. I know it would be a lot of work, but honestly, I hate that stuff. I love black, khaki, and white together. That's pretty much what we have going; however, there are certainly a lot of other colors. I do have our vases from our unity sand ceremony on the mantel, and then my flowers on a bookcase. I want to cover the couches so they match, but I have no clue how to do that. Let me know what your thoughts are!!
We have talked about getting something different to frame/cover our fire pit. What do you think? It seems too plain or wide to me.
Should we mount the TV on the wall, and then get a different stand or something for the Xbox, Kinect, and extra movies that we have hidden. Yes, I have a lot of movies! We also have some games.
I've thought about framing our marriage certificate, and adding it to this mix of our wedding invitation and name "plate". Maybe?
The stairs... should we keep it carpet, with obviously a different color than green or do wood with a runner?
I know that this is up a little high, but things can change.
As I really think I would like to put up crown molding.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Shoes!!
Okay, if you know anything about me, you know that I LOVE shoes!! Like I wouldn't mind having a different pair of shoes for every day of the year, or at least a different pair for every Sunday within 6 months. Either way, I love shoes and am always looking to see what's out there.
While checking out different bathing suits online as I will have to get a new one or two this year, I decided to look at shoes too. Okay - I typically buy bathing suits from Victoria's Secret just as I do a lot of other things. As my husband says, I'm a Victoria's Secret snob. I agree, and he usually doesn't complain once he sees what I have. LOL!
In checking out the shoes, I found these, and oh my goodness, I want them!!!
I ended up showing them to my husband because I just had to let him know what I was just wanting... no, I think I need them. :) He kind of laughed a little, and was like really, you like them. They are 5" heels with a 1" platform... right up my alley! (My wedding shoes were 4" heels from Jessica Simpson.) He went and did whatever, and then came back to say I could order them because he didn't get me anything for my birthday. I was tempted, but said no. They are $75, and even though I have shoes that are more expensive than that, I thought about the new car I just got and the student loans I have to pay for starting next month. *Sigh!* Maybe I'll find some extra money just hanging out somewhere!!
While checking out different bathing suits online as I will have to get a new one or two this year, I decided to look at shoes too. Okay - I typically buy bathing suits from Victoria's Secret just as I do a lot of other things. As my husband says, I'm a Victoria's Secret snob. I agree, and he usually doesn't complain once he sees what I have. LOL!
In checking out the shoes, I found these, and oh my goodness, I want them!!!
I ended up showing them to my husband because I just had to let him know what I was just wanting... no, I think I need them. :) He kind of laughed a little, and was like really, you like them. They are 5" heels with a 1" platform... right up my alley! (My wedding shoes were 4" heels from Jessica Simpson.) He went and did whatever, and then came back to say I could order them because he didn't get me anything for my birthday. I was tempted, but said no. They are $75, and even though I have shoes that are more expensive than that, I thought about the new car I just got and the student loans I have to pay for starting next month. *Sigh!* Maybe I'll find some extra money just hanging out somewhere!!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Scentsy
Well, I'm thinking about creating my second job that I want. I'm thinking about selling Scentsy! It's a great product, and I know many that love it. What do you think?!?!
Sunday, May 22, 2011
The Beginning... Second Beginning
So do you remember this?! Well, that was two years ago today. I still can't believe we ended up together after our start back in 2004. The first date we had was horrible. We ended up just not wanting to have anything to do with each other; however, I know that there were several times that I asked about him and/or thought about him. And from what I was told by his best friend, I was the girl that got away, but I came back. :) Second first dates work for me!
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Do You Hear Music?
Tonight is the last night of a ten night stretch of sleeping on the couch on top of two big pillows to sleep in an elevated position. Can't you hear the music because I know I do!! :)
Well, once again, I have to say that I have the best husband ever!! We have two couches that are about the width of a double bed each. One is pretty big and fluffy with big pillows, and you can recline on both sides as well. The other one is my first couch I got back in 2006 and is certainly starting to lose some structure. Brandon likes to sleep on the couch from time to time... usually after playing Zombies till whatever hours or I'm out of town so he can do whatever he wants. :) His favorite couch is the big and fluffy one that reclines, and it's the couch his best friend sleeps on too when he crashes even though we have a spare bedroom. LOL!
Okay, so enough of the description of the couches... this is where my husband is amazing. He has slept on the couches with me for the past 9 nights, and ending tonight with night 10. However, I have gotten the big fluffy couch with the pillows that allow me to stay elevated. Also, I could recline at the beginning of the 10 days when I needed to stay up a lot more. Brandon slept on the dying couch with his "game" chair (an old LDS church chair - metal with orange fabric) at the end to where he could put up his feet. Yes, he was kind of sleeping at an angle. For a man who loves his sleep, I am forever grateful for him doing this!! He thought of sleeping in our bed a couple of times, but knew I wanted him in the same room with me.
I love my amazing, fabulous husband!!!
Well, once again, I have to say that I have the best husband ever!! We have two couches that are about the width of a double bed each. One is pretty big and fluffy with big pillows, and you can recline on both sides as well. The other one is my first couch I got back in 2006 and is certainly starting to lose some structure. Brandon likes to sleep on the couch from time to time... usually after playing Zombies till whatever hours or I'm out of town so he can do whatever he wants. :) His favorite couch is the big and fluffy one that reclines, and it's the couch his best friend sleeps on too when he crashes even though we have a spare bedroom. LOL!
Okay, so enough of the description of the couches... this is where my husband is amazing. He has slept on the couches with me for the past 9 nights, and ending tonight with night 10. However, I have gotten the big fluffy couch with the pillows that allow me to stay elevated. Also, I could recline at the beginning of the 10 days when I needed to stay up a lot more. Brandon slept on the dying couch with his "game" chair (an old LDS church chair - metal with orange fabric) at the end to where he could put up his feet. Yes, he was kind of sleeping at an angle. For a man who loves his sleep, I am forever grateful for him doing this!! He thought of sleeping in our bed a couple of times, but knew I wanted him in the same room with me.
I love my amazing, fabulous husband!!!
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Ah Ha Moments
So life certainly brings many different things - good and bad - that you don't always expect. There have certainly been a lot of those moments in my life within the past two years. But it's been a fun two years. I have enjoyed a lot of everything, and the other parts, one just has to go through those. LOL!
A couple nights ago I was trying to sleep which is something I haven't been able to do very well for over a week, but that happens when you are sleeping on a couch in an elevated position. UGH! But, back to my thought. I just had that ah ha moment of how much I love my husband. The first year of marriage hasn't been easy, but it is certainly a growing time. I seriously have the best husband I could ever ask for! He is amazing, and I truly love him more now than the day we got married.
It was just really an awesome feeling to be laying there, and realize how truly blessed I am. Brandon is absolutely amazing, and EVERYTHING I could dream of as my husband.
A couple nights ago I was trying to sleep which is something I haven't been able to do very well for over a week, but that happens when you are sleeping on a couch in an elevated position. UGH! But, back to my thought. I just had that ah ha moment of how much I love my husband. The first year of marriage hasn't been easy, but it is certainly a growing time. I seriously have the best husband I could ever ask for! He is amazing, and I truly love him more now than the day we got married.
It was just really an awesome feeling to be laying there, and realize how truly blessed I am. Brandon is absolutely amazing, and EVERYTHING I could dream of as my husband.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
To Dream Again
I could see princes and princesses.
I could feel like I was on a cloud.
A teacher I was, even to a teddy bear and hound.
Colors were vibrant.
Music could heal.
Dancing took me places that I could only feel.
I was strong.
I was brave.
Life never made sense, but I didn't cave.
A mother I was.
An even better wife I could see.
There was no one he would want besides me.
To dream again...
To feel anything was possible.
To believe in hope and the future.
What I wouldn't give to dream again.
I could feel like I was on a cloud.
A teacher I was, even to a teddy bear and hound.
Colors were vibrant.
Music could heal.
Dancing took me places that I could only feel.
I was strong.
I was brave.
Life never made sense, but I didn't cave.
A mother I was.
An even better wife I could see.
There was no one he would want besides me.
To dream again...
To feel anything was possible.
To believe in hope and the future.
What I wouldn't give to dream again.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Do you ever...
Just feel lost? I know we all go through moments where things just don't seem together or that we are confused. There are those moments that you are just really trying to figure out what's happening.
Here lately, I have felt lost. I have felt lost in work as I have once again changed jobs. Oh how I hate changing jobs and feeling like I can't find that fit. I have felt lost at home in just trying to figure out what I need to do or want to do to the house and as a wife. I'm a horrible cook, and just feel like I don't know what to do. I feel like I lost the genes on how to be a wife. I have felt lost with Church. I have felt lost with myself.
The last two are probably the things that have just bothered me the most. It's almost as I just can't seem to find any type of answer or reason. I received a priesthood blessing which I truly believed in, and then what was stated didn't happen. I was promised I would have a clear mind, and my mind couldn't focus at all. I felt so all over the place and not together. It shook me up greatly. I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out really what is real, and what isn't. I have been hoping for some type of answer to come.
I feel as if I have lost myself. I'm not the person I used to be, but was the person I used to be really me. I honestly am not sure; hence why I feel lost. There have been a few different changes going on and will be going on for me, and Brandon asked me the other day, "are you depressed?" I said I'm not, but maybe I am. Or maybe it's just because I feel lost that I'm trying to just control the few things I can control without any worry.
The feeling of being lost is one I really don't enjoy. I know there are things that I can do to be better, but sometimes I just wonder why it feels so much harder for me.
Here lately, I have felt lost. I have felt lost in work as I have once again changed jobs. Oh how I hate changing jobs and feeling like I can't find that fit. I have felt lost at home in just trying to figure out what I need to do or want to do to the house and as a wife. I'm a horrible cook, and just feel like I don't know what to do. I feel like I lost the genes on how to be a wife. I have felt lost with Church. I have felt lost with myself.
The last two are probably the things that have just bothered me the most. It's almost as I just can't seem to find any type of answer or reason. I received a priesthood blessing which I truly believed in, and then what was stated didn't happen. I was promised I would have a clear mind, and my mind couldn't focus at all. I felt so all over the place and not together. It shook me up greatly. I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out really what is real, and what isn't. I have been hoping for some type of answer to come.
I feel as if I have lost myself. I'm not the person I used to be, but was the person I used to be really me. I honestly am not sure; hence why I feel lost. There have been a few different changes going on and will be going on for me, and Brandon asked me the other day, "are you depressed?" I said I'm not, but maybe I am. Or maybe it's just because I feel lost that I'm trying to just control the few things I can control without any worry.
The feeling of being lost is one I really don't enjoy. I know there are things that I can do to be better, but sometimes I just wonder why it feels so much harder for me.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Day 30: One Last Moment
To end these 30 days of posts (kind of, sort of) with a moment is interesting; however, today was a great moment. Thursday I went to take my General Lines P&C Insurance test. I thought I knew the material; however, I was wrong. I missed passing by two questions. It was very frustrating. There are many other thoughts and such that go along with that one, but not my last moment.
Today, I arose at 4:15am after very little sleep, meaning about 3 1/2 hours. It was hard, but I had to leave by 8am. The roads were dark, and very few people were out. That is until they flood out of their homes and onto the streets to head off to work on a Monday morning.
I get to my testing site with just a few minutes to spare, and get checked in. After going through the whole process of showing empty pockets and such, I'm off to take this 150 question test. Parts seemed much easier and otherss were just confusing as always. It came to that last button to push, and I was very nervous. Then there it was... I passed! I was super excited that I passed and made it through. That is my last moment. :)
Today, I arose at 4:15am after very little sleep, meaning about 3 1/2 hours. It was hard, but I had to leave by 8am. The roads were dark, and very few people were out. That is until they flood out of their homes and onto the streets to head off to work on a Monday morning.
I get to my testing site with just a few minutes to spare, and get checked in. After going through the whole process of showing empty pockets and such, I'm off to take this 150 question test. Parts seemed much easier and otherss were just confusing as always. It came to that last button to push, and I was very nervous. Then there it was... I passed! I was super excited that I passed and made it through. That is my last moment. :)
Day 29: My Aspirations... My Desires
So to start off, I do not have the best of vocabulary. Sorry, I'm a simple person, and so yes, I had to look up "aspiration". The part that pertains is having a strong desire. I think of "what do you aspire to be" when I think of aspiration. It really does go together.
Truth, I don't know what I aspire to be. I'm not sure what I have a strong desire about in my life to achieve. I used to think I knew it all, and I knew exactly what I wanted in my life. I had goals and dreams. I knew where I was, and I had a pretty good idea where I was going. Unfortunately, in the past year or so, that hasn't been the case.
It's hard to think that maybe I don't have dreams right now, but so much of me is just trying to make it through reality. It hasn't been easy. Reality has certainly taken over my life in every way to where I just don't know what I want or dream.
Truth, I don't know what I aspire to be. I'm not sure what I have a strong desire about in my life to achieve. I used to think I knew it all, and I knew exactly what I wanted in my life. I had goals and dreams. I knew where I was, and I had a pretty good idea where I was going. Unfortunately, in the past year or so, that hasn't been the case.
It's hard to think that maybe I don't have dreams right now, but so much of me is just trying to make it through reality. It hasn't been easy. Reality has certainly taken over my life in every way to where I just don't know what I want or dream.
Day 28: Something I Miss
Probably more than anything, I miss dancing! I miss the way it made me felt. I miss the way that everything just seemed to be okay after I spent an hour or so in the studio. I miss the friendships that were cherished and thrived. I miss the flexibility and strength I had. I miss the attention. I miss the costumes. I miss the sweat and pain. Dancing was everything to me; it was my life.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Day 27: My Favorite Place
I have to admit this is kind of hard. My favorite place is typically in Brandon's arms, but I love being in the shower with the water just pounding on me. I even like Brandon in the shower. LOL! Oops. :) I love being with good people and in good conversation. My favorite place once was the dance floor, and I'm sure if I had the opportunity, it would be again.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Day 26: My Fears
I fear growing old. I fear pregnancy. I fear gaining weight. I fear losing my husband. I fear death. I fear living my life still not knowing. I fear making the wrong choices. I fear debt. I fear being a bad mother. I fear being a poor wife. I fear losing friends. I fear the "what ifs". I fear not being important. I fear being forgotten.
Day 25: A First
We all have many firsts in our lives, and we are a part of many firsts for those we are around.
I was a very close friends first kiss, and still to this day, I am sure, as it was the case a couple years back, he still kisses the exact same way.
But here lately, I have had a lot of firsts... first husband, first house, and first Mustang GT. They have all been pretty exciting. I can't wait till we have our first child, first nursery, and first yard.
I was a very close friends first kiss, and still to this day, I am sure, as it was the case a couple years back, he still kisses the exact same way.
But here lately, I have had a lot of firsts... first husband, first house, and first Mustang GT. They have all been pretty exciting. I can't wait till we have our first child, first nursery, and first yard.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Day 24: Something That Makes Me Cry
I cry at a lot of things. Hurting those around me or having them think differently of me than I want. Good music. Looking at pictures from happy moments and family members that have passed. Hitting my head with the ceiling fan going full speed. Not being able to do something.
My husband got a new Ford Mustang GT yesterday, and yes, I am jealous. It is OUR car as he puts it, and he says he'll let me drive it when I want. Only one problem, it's a standard and well, I'm an automatic girl. We started to practice some last night, and all I did was stall out. I get nervous, scared, and sad. I didn't cry, but it's only because I held it back. I want to drive it so much. I feel I should be able to drive it, but I don't know if I'll ever get it. *sigh*
My husband got a new Ford Mustang GT yesterday, and yes, I am jealous. It is OUR car as he puts it, and he says he'll let me drive it when I want. Only one problem, it's a standard and well, I'm an automatic girl. We started to practice some last night, and all I did was stall out. I get nervous, scared, and sad. I didn't cry, but it's only because I held it back. I want to drive it so much. I feel I should be able to drive it, but I don't know if I'll ever get it. *sigh*
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Day 23: Something that Makes Me Feel Better
When I'm really stressed, crying helps me feel better. Working out is another thing that feels fabulous. Good movies are nice. It's hard to think of the things that make me feel better as it seems as if it's hard for me to do. :(
Day 22: Something that Upsets Me
There are several things that upset me, but what I think I get upset about the most is when I feel as if I don't matter. The times I feel that others are more important to my husband than me. I'm upset when I feel as if I've let people down. There really are several things that upset me, but not feeling important is probably the thing that hurts the most.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Day 21: A Moment
My moment happened today... finding out that I didn't have to work until 4pm, but that I was done at 11am!! Oh - it was great going in at 6:45am to get off early. :)
Day 20: This Month
The month of March is a wonderful month. It's the month of spring and new life. It's my birthday month which makes it wonderful. It's my wedding anniversary month as well. Why I would ever get married in the same month as my birthday, I don't know. LOL!
This month has consisted of growth and change. I am leaving my current job for a new one. I am preparing for new things. I even got a new hair cut. :) It's a good month.
This month has consisted of growth and change. I am leaving my current job for a new one. I am preparing for new things. I even got a new hair cut. :) It's a good month.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Day 19: Something I Regret
There are days I regret leaving Utah, and there are days I regret changing jobs. However, I know that everything I do and have done have gotten me to where I am today. Because of that, I have no regrets. That's a good feeling!
Day 18: My Favorite Memory
My favorite memory would be my marriage. The day I got married was a wonderful day. It was full of so many emotions. I was nervous, but I was so excited as well. It was a perfect day outside, and everything just went well. I would never want to live that day again as I was so stressed before and that morning. I think what made it so perfect and my favorite, it was seeing Brandon cry when he saw me. It was one of the few times I've ever seen true emotion from him. Oh, I love that day!!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
I Need Your Help
Okay blog stalkers, if there are any of you, I really need your help. I need your help with two things.
1) To not eat any junk food! My husband stated that my diet is poor and that all I eat is junk food. I disagree that it is all I eat, but I do eat a lot of chips, dips, and cheese. And every so often, some candy of some sort. Oh yea, and an entire box of mac & cheese to myself for lunch. :)
2) To not care what my husband does. Now this is going to be a hard one; a very hard one, but one I need to do.
Please help me!!
1) To not eat any junk food! My husband stated that my diet is poor and that all I eat is junk food. I disagree that it is all I eat, but I do eat a lot of chips, dips, and cheese. And every so often, some candy of some sort. Oh yea, and an entire box of mac & cheese to myself for lunch. :)
2) To not care what my husband does. Now this is going to be a hard one; a very hard one, but one I need to do.
Please help me!!
Day 17: My Favorite Birthday
My favorite birthday was my 21st birthday. No, it's not because I could drink as I wasn't drinking then. I was really working hard on being a good person. It was because it went this way...
It was a beautiful Sunday. I felt beautiful, and was just happy.
I went to Church, and actually got there really early.
I got a bag of Sour Patch Kids from Jordan Larsen (he was an Elder at that time).
Brandon Mathis gave a talk after recently coming home from his mission. I thought he was cute, and we actually talked some that day after Church.
I got home from Church to see my mom's parents there visiting for my birthday. It was so good to see them that day. My grandma brought me have a container of those twirl sticks that are crispy. Oh, I can't remember the name of them, but they are tasty! We put a puzzle together as well. It was something we always did together.
My mom cooked something yummy I'm sure, but I don't remember what.
Off to Stake YSA in Henderson I went. So that meant I drove to Nacogdoches to meet up with everyone, and then up to Henderson we all went. It was so much fun, and Brandon Mathis sat by me. Yes, I was excited.
When we got back to the Ward Building after our meeting, there were my two best friends at that time - Abby and Jen - standing there with a basket of goodies and a sign that said "Happy Birthday Angela". That meant so much to me.
It was the perfect day and birthday. I spent it with friends and family, and I got to worship the one who is why I had such a perfect day.
It was a beautiful Sunday. I felt beautiful, and was just happy.
I went to Church, and actually got there really early.
I got a bag of Sour Patch Kids from Jordan Larsen (he was an Elder at that time).
Brandon Mathis gave a talk after recently coming home from his mission. I thought he was cute, and we actually talked some that day after Church.
I got home from Church to see my mom's parents there visiting for my birthday. It was so good to see them that day. My grandma brought me have a container of those twirl sticks that are crispy. Oh, I can't remember the name of them, but they are tasty! We put a puzzle together as well. It was something we always did together.
My mom cooked something yummy I'm sure, but I don't remember what.
Off to Stake YSA in Henderson I went. So that meant I drove to Nacogdoches to meet up with everyone, and then up to Henderson we all went. It was so much fun, and Brandon Mathis sat by me. Yes, I was excited.
When we got back to the Ward Building after our meeting, there were my two best friends at that time - Abby and Jen - standing there with a basket of goodies and a sign that said "Happy Birthday Angela". That meant so much to me.
It was the perfect day and birthday. I spent it with friends and family, and I got to worship the one who is why I had such a perfect day.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Temptations
We all have temptations, and some are small while others are large. To some, some things don't seem like a temptation as they do to others. As for me, I truly only have one major temptation that literally haunts me every day and multiple times a day. Truth... I am tempted right now.
A nice margarita or Smirnoff or Mike's Hard Lemonade sounds SO good right now. It would be nice to just have one, but alas, I am fighting that urge. It is not easy at all, and when you are around alcohol so much, it makes it even harder.
I never drank to get drunk; I drank because I liked the taste. I drank to just relax and chill for the moment.
I wish I knew how to get rid of this constant desire to just have one. It is very bothersome in so many ways. I can't believe I'm sharing this information anyways, but it's my blog so why not. One day I hope it'll go away!!
A nice margarita or Smirnoff or Mike's Hard Lemonade sounds SO good right now. It would be nice to just have one, but alas, I am fighting that urge. It is not easy at all, and when you are around alcohol so much, it makes it even harder.
I never drank to get drunk; I drank because I liked the taste. I drank to just relax and chill for the moment.
I wish I knew how to get rid of this constant desire to just have one. It is very bothersome in so many ways. I can't believe I'm sharing this information anyways, but it's my blog so why not. One day I hope it'll go away!!
Day 16: My Dreams
This is a hard one as I'm not completely sure what my dreams are anymore. I know the things I want to be, but I'm not sure if they are dreams or not. Now, if you are talking about dreams you have in your sleep, then I couldn't really tell you too much about that either. I often don't dream or don't remember. I do remember last night dreaming that I was cheating on my husband and was going to leave him. That was weird as it was the night before our first anniversary. Yea, not so sure about that one.
Day 15: My First Kiss
Wow... my first REAL kiss, or what we often refer to as a real kiss was when I was 16 years old. It could have happened earlier, but I would always get nervous and laugh. This time, it just happened. We were on a bus coming back from our band trip to the Bahamas. Everyone was asleep, and he was younger than me. I don't know why I thought Dustin was a cutie, but I did. OMG - It was the worst kiss EVER. It was sloppy and just blah. Why did I think I was missing out?! LOL!
But if I think about it, I remember my first kiss with every guy, and yes, there is a list that I could probably get in order. :)
My last first kiss was kind of funny, but great. The first time Brandon and I kissed was in June 2009. He was leaving my place, and I think went to kiss my cheek or forehead, I don't remember exactly. But I moved my head, and it was just kind of awkward. So we tried again for an actual kiss, and it was great. I remember us both just smiling. Well, needless to say, we couldn't stop kissing from that day on. :)
But if I think about it, I remember my first kiss with every guy, and yes, there is a list that I could probably get in order. :)
My last first kiss was kind of funny, but great. The first time Brandon and I kissed was in June 2009. He was leaving my place, and I think went to kiss my cheek or forehead, I don't remember exactly. But I moved my head, and it was just kind of awkward. So we tried again for an actual kiss, and it was great. I remember us both just smiling. Well, needless to say, we couldn't stop kissing from that day on. :)
Day 14: What I Wore Today
Today has been a lazy day in dress!! I work my "Love Needs No Translation" shirt (GO Kristin!!) and my Madison capris. White tank top underneath with my Nikes. No makeup and hair pulled up... it's the way to go! :)
Day 13: This Week
So I am going to do a Monday through Sunday week as to be able to include today. :)
Monday... I worked 8-5 at Maurices. It was a pretty typical day. I then was offered a new job with Allstate/Michele Allen based on getting certified as a Insurance Sales Provider.
Tuesday... I worked 8-6 again at Maurices, and that's the day I informed several people in the store that I was going to be leaving. It was really hard for me.
Wednesday... I worked 8-5 again at Maurices, but today was the day our District Manager visited. I really like Toni a lot. I informed her I was leaving, and it was hard. We passed our audit which was great. I then practiced for a Relief Society thing. Hopefully we are still going to be singing.
Thursday... I worked 8-430 again at Maurices, and it was a pretty good day. We worked on getting things completed and fixed up that needed to be done. Then it was time to do laundry and get things together for a little trip.
Friday... Hung around the house for a bit, and then off to Tyler and then Dallas!! We ate at yummy On The Border and then Saltgrass that night. Oh so good!!!
Saturday... SIX FLAGS OVER TEXAS!!! We love amusement parks and roller coaster rides. We got another character picture drawn like we did last year. This year we are riding rides instead of just married. :) Taco Cabana was our next food spot before driving back.
Sunday... FIRST ANNIVERSARY!! Today we slept in late, enjoyed time together, took a walk, and will end up at Brandon's parents for a steak dinner and our cake. :-/ Yes, I'm nervous about the cake.
Monday... I worked 8-5 at Maurices. It was a pretty typical day. I then was offered a new job with Allstate/Michele Allen based on getting certified as a Insurance Sales Provider.
Tuesday... I worked 8-6 again at Maurices, and that's the day I informed several people in the store that I was going to be leaving. It was really hard for me.
Wednesday... I worked 8-5 again at Maurices, but today was the day our District Manager visited. I really like Toni a lot. I informed her I was leaving, and it was hard. We passed our audit which was great. I then practiced for a Relief Society thing. Hopefully we are still going to be singing.
Thursday... I worked 8-430 again at Maurices, and it was a pretty good day. We worked on getting things completed and fixed up that needed to be done. Then it was time to do laundry and get things together for a little trip.
Friday... Hung around the house for a bit, and then off to Tyler and then Dallas!! We ate at yummy On The Border and then Saltgrass that night. Oh so good!!!
Saturday... SIX FLAGS OVER TEXAS!!! We love amusement parks and roller coaster rides. We got another character picture drawn like we did last year. This year we are riding rides instead of just married. :) Taco Cabana was our next food spot before driving back.
Sunday... FIRST ANNIVERSARY!! Today we slept in late, enjoyed time together, took a walk, and will end up at Brandon's parents for a steak dinner and our cake. :-/ Yes, I'm nervous about the cake.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Day 12: What's In My Bag
Oh goodness, I'm not completely sure that I can say what is in my bag. I know my wallet is there and some pain medication. There are some prescriptions... three to be exact. I have my planner and pens. There is probably some lip gloss and capstick too. I have some work keys in there too. Maybe that's it, but there may be some other things that I just don't know about. :) LOL!
Day 11: My Siblings
Well, I only have one sibling by blood, but I have 5 in-laws, and I count them. :)
Kevin, my younger brother, is absolutely amazing. He looks older than me because he is so dang tall and bigger than me. We are pretty opposite in a lot of ways, but love each other dearly. He is so talented in music. It just amazes me with all that he can do. We lived together in an apartment for a year, and it was good and bad. We got on each others nerves, but at the same time, I think we grew closer. He married a wonderful lady 6 months before I got married.
Shannon, my brother's wife, is very talented as well. We don't know each other very well, but I know she's great for my brother, and that's all that matters to me! :)
Brandon has two older brothers who are both married, and they are all great. I've really only gotten to know one of my sister-in-laws, Emily, and she's great. I know the others are wonderful too. Lance and Mary Ann live in Utah. Ryan is in the Army. It's hard not being around each other, but I hope one day I'll get to know them more.
Kevin, my younger brother, is absolutely amazing. He looks older than me because he is so dang tall and bigger than me. We are pretty opposite in a lot of ways, but love each other dearly. He is so talented in music. It just amazes me with all that he can do. We lived together in an apartment for a year, and it was good and bad. We got on each others nerves, but at the same time, I think we grew closer. He married a wonderful lady 6 months before I got married.
Shannon, my brother's wife, is very talented as well. We don't know each other very well, but I know she's great for my brother, and that's all that matters to me! :)
Brandon has two older brothers who are both married, and they are all great. I've really only gotten to know one of my sister-in-laws, Emily, and she's great. I know the others are wonderful too. Lance and Mary Ann live in Utah. Ryan is in the Army. It's hard not being around each other, but I hope one day I'll get to know them more.
Day 10: What I Wore Today
Today was a little bit of a relaxed day for me. I wore my MEK Denim jeans, black cami, white burnout, and black vneck cardigan. I wore my grey and pink Nike shoes. After work, I threw on some short sweatpants and a t-shirt to go walking and relax. It's been a comfortable day. Not as dressed up as I normally am, but it was nice. :)
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Day 9: My Beliefs
I believe in a loving Heavenly Father who is my Father and knows me. I believe in a Savior who gave His life for me. He is my elder brother and friend. I believe in the atonement, and that it can save me. It is there so that I can repent and return home. I believe in a living prophet who receives revelation still this day for the world. I believe in the ability of being able to receive personal revelation. I believe in love and compassion. I believe that you are blessed for the good things you do, even if it isn't in the way you want it. I believe in forever. I believe that there is life after death, and that there is still opportunity to grow and learn. I believe in change. I believe in making sacrifices. I believe in family, and the importance of marriage between a man and woman. My beliefs are deep, and important to me. My beliefs help direct my life.
Day 8: A Moment
There have obviously been a lot of moments in my life as life is made of moments, but one that comes to mind is the night that Brandon and I decided to get married.
The week or so prior had consistent of some interesting moments for us. We had taken a walk, and we both could tell that there was something we wanted to say or share but both were nervous to say anything. The evening of my friend, Sadie's wedding reception was the night that I finally got Brandon to tell me that he loved me. It was funny as I knew he wanted to share something after we got back from the awkward night, but he just wouldn't say it. I pushed enough to where he finally said "I love you, okay." I was shocked, but knew I loved him too. It was hard in some ways to let him in so much because I had never really loved someone that way in awhile, and I wasn't 100% sure if I was over the last guy I had loved that way.
The evening of August 16, well, the early morning of August 17 was when we decided we wanted to get married. Brandon could tell that something was on my mind, and had to pull it out of me as I did him. I told him that I could see us together for a really long time. He agreed, and then we both were like, "are we talking about marriage?" It was amazing. We talked all night about it, and how right it felt. We talked about families and timing of everything. I even got flowers at work a couple days later. We were both excited to know that we did find our other half that made us so happy.
The week or so prior had consistent of some interesting moments for us. We had taken a walk, and we both could tell that there was something we wanted to say or share but both were nervous to say anything. The evening of my friend, Sadie's wedding reception was the night that I finally got Brandon to tell me that he loved me. It was funny as I knew he wanted to share something after we got back from the awkward night, but he just wouldn't say it. I pushed enough to where he finally said "I love you, okay." I was shocked, but knew I loved him too. It was hard in some ways to let him in so much because I had never really loved someone that way in awhile, and I wasn't 100% sure if I was over the last guy I had loved that way.
The evening of August 16, well, the early morning of August 17 was when we decided we wanted to get married. Brandon could tell that something was on my mind, and had to pull it out of me as I did him. I told him that I could see us together for a really long time. He agreed, and then we both were like, "are we talking about marriage?" It was amazing. We talked all night about it, and how right it felt. We talked about families and timing of everything. I even got flowers at work a couple days later. We were both excited to know that we did find our other half that made us so happy.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Day 7: My Best Friend
Well, for me I don't have just one best friend. I have a few best friends who are absolutely amazing.
Brandon is for sure my best friend. He is my husband and lover. He is the one that can comfort me the most, and the one I wish would talk to me the most about different things while I vent or try to figure things out. Lucky for me, he's not so much the type. LOL! But none the less, I love him greatly! He is my best friend because he won my heart.
Emily Field is my evil twin. She knows me inside and out. She makes me laugh, and will listen no matter what. We can go a long time without talking, and once we get together, it's like no time has passed. Emily takes care of me when I need it. I miss my twin a lot!
Kaitlin Wray is another best friend. She is amazing, and I'm so glad we had classes together. We became instant friends, and wow, the things we can talk about. She's not afraid of telling me when I need to straighten up, but is willing to love me no matter what. I miss the late night chats, and the many runs to Chick-fil-a!
Those are the three people I would call my best friends. I know I have some friends who I am very close with, but those are certainly my best friends. Also, as I've talked about before, my mom is my best friend too. :)
Brandon is for sure my best friend. He is my husband and lover. He is the one that can comfort me the most, and the one I wish would talk to me the most about different things while I vent or try to figure things out. Lucky for me, he's not so much the type. LOL! But none the less, I love him greatly! He is my best friend because he won my heart.
Emily Field is my evil twin. She knows me inside and out. She makes me laugh, and will listen no matter what. We can go a long time without talking, and once we get together, it's like no time has passed. Emily takes care of me when I need it. I miss my twin a lot!
Kaitlin Wray is another best friend. She is amazing, and I'm so glad we had classes together. We became instant friends, and wow, the things we can talk about. She's not afraid of telling me when I need to straighten up, but is willing to love me no matter what. I miss the late night chats, and the many runs to Chick-fil-a!
Those are the three people I would call my best friends. I know I have some friends who I am very close with, but those are certainly my best friends. Also, as I've talked about before, my mom is my best friend too. :)
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Day 6: My Day
My day has been a good day, but a long day. I worked from 9am - 4:45pm straight. I was hoping to get out earlier, but there was a lot to do at work. We have inventory coming up, and so much to get done. It's not good when you get 30+ boxes a couple days before inventory. I then got to hang out with my good friend Emily. It was good to be able to catch up with her, and we enjoyed that over food at Casa Tomas. Good food - poor service! Now, I am going to enjoy my evening in my pj's! :) And probably wash some clothes since I need to get that done, and I have work for the next five days.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Day 5: Definition of Love
Love is never-ending; love is forgiving. One does not decide when love happens as it's a natural feeling that binds two people together in friendship, marriage, and any other types of relationships. Love is peace and happiness. Love is charity. Love has no start or stop button. True love is something we all long for, and once we find it, it is something we never want to let go of.
I have found my true love, and I never want to let him go. It has taken me time to truly realize it, but it is amazing!!
I have found my true love, and I never want to let him go. It has taken me time to truly realize it, but it is amazing!!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Day 4: What I Ate
Oh... let's see what I actually ate today, and yes, it's sad.
A few starbursts
2 100 Calorie Special K Fruit Chews
4 small corn tortillas with cheese and pepperoni
Box of Kraft Mac & Cheese
Believe me, I know my eating habits are HORRIBLE, but junk is always tastier. hehe
A few starbursts
2 100 Calorie Special K Fruit Chews
4 small corn tortillas with cheese and pepperoni
Box of Kraft Mac & Cheese
Believe me, I know my eating habits are HORRIBLE, but junk is always tastier. hehe
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Day 3: My Parents
Oh, I don't even know what to say about my parents besides the fact that they are amazing!!
My mom has become one of my best friends. We can talk about EVERYTHING, and literally, everything! I know things that most kids would never want to know about their parents, and I love it. I'm glad we have that type of relationship that we can be best friends. She has been a great example to me, and has tried to teach me things over the years. Unfortunately, I didn't always pay attention, but I know she tried. My mom is always there when I need her, and we talk all the time. My mom is a friend to every one, and it's rare that she meets a stranger. If you need an ear, she is certainly someone you can go to. A quick funny story about my mom... back in 2003, I got my second ticket within a year and so I had to defer my ticket so it wouldn't go on my record. In 2004, the missionaries in my ward (Jordan and Seth) wanted to race me and I said I couldn't because I was on probation. I was in a sense. They came over for dinner one night, and some how that came up. My dad just looked at me like what are they talking about, and I played it off somehow. Oh, the dirty looks I gave those boys. LOL! Church was the next day, and when I was leaving, I found a note on my car from my mom saying "I know nothing. Sorry." My dad had started to question her, and she played it off as she didn't know about my ticket. Needless to say, I felt horrible, and went home to tell my dad what happened. I told him I didn't say anything to him because I took care of it. I never said that mom knew though. All was well, and topic dropped. :) I love the trust my mom and I have for each other.
My dad has been my rock and strength through so much. He is the one I go to for advice, but not before I've thought it through and made a plan. My dad taught me to think, to plan, and to commit. He taught me that friendship was important, but family was all you really needed. That has been hard to learn over the years, but I understand why he says that. To him, his family is everything. To get an "I love you" or "I am proud of you" from my dad makes me cry. He's not an emotional person as I don't know if he has ever cried. I certainly have not seen it, but the look in his eyes will tell you everything. I remember the day I got married, and when he came to get me, he just looked at me and said why are you nervous. He was as calm as day, and like, you know you made the right choice and you are happy, so what's to worry about. Maybe deep down he was nervous too, but I certainly never saw it. One special moment with my dad is one night, very, very late, I was super upset by my boyfriend at the time (my first love), and thought it was the end of the world. I couldn't sleep, and I just cried for hours. My dad happened to wake up, and came in to find me a mess. All he did was lay down with me and hold me. That meant the world to me.
I love my parents so much!!
My mom has become one of my best friends. We can talk about EVERYTHING, and literally, everything! I know things that most kids would never want to know about their parents, and I love it. I'm glad we have that type of relationship that we can be best friends. She has been a great example to me, and has tried to teach me things over the years. Unfortunately, I didn't always pay attention, but I know she tried. My mom is always there when I need her, and we talk all the time. My mom is a friend to every one, and it's rare that she meets a stranger. If you need an ear, she is certainly someone you can go to. A quick funny story about my mom... back in 2003, I got my second ticket within a year and so I had to defer my ticket so it wouldn't go on my record. In 2004, the missionaries in my ward (Jordan and Seth) wanted to race me and I said I couldn't because I was on probation. I was in a sense. They came over for dinner one night, and some how that came up. My dad just looked at me like what are they talking about, and I played it off somehow. Oh, the dirty looks I gave those boys. LOL! Church was the next day, and when I was leaving, I found a note on my car from my mom saying "I know nothing. Sorry." My dad had started to question her, and she played it off as she didn't know about my ticket. Needless to say, I felt horrible, and went home to tell my dad what happened. I told him I didn't say anything to him because I took care of it. I never said that mom knew though. All was well, and topic dropped. :) I love the trust my mom and I have for each other.
My dad has been my rock and strength through so much. He is the one I go to for advice, but not before I've thought it through and made a plan. My dad taught me to think, to plan, and to commit. He taught me that friendship was important, but family was all you really needed. That has been hard to learn over the years, but I understand why he says that. To him, his family is everything. To get an "I love you" or "I am proud of you" from my dad makes me cry. He's not an emotional person as I don't know if he has ever cried. I certainly have not seen it, but the look in his eyes will tell you everything. I remember the day I got married, and when he came to get me, he just looked at me and said why are you nervous. He was as calm as day, and like, you know you made the right choice and you are happy, so what's to worry about. Maybe deep down he was nervous too, but I certainly never saw it. One special moment with my dad is one night, very, very late, I was super upset by my boyfriend at the time (my first love), and thought it was the end of the world. I couldn't sleep, and I just cried for hours. My dad happened to wake up, and came in to find me a mess. All he did was lay down with me and hold me. That meant the world to me.
I love my parents so much!!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Day 2: First Love
Oh... my first love was when I was 16 years old, and I lived in Waycross, Georgia. His name is Terrel Blaine Hood (and is happily married with 2 girls and a child on the way). I thought he was everything, and no matter what he said or did, he could never seem to do wrong in my eyes.
We were "together" for about three years, but part of that time he was on a mission and even part of that time was confusing and weird. But we for sure dated just over a year.
He was cute, tall, and older. He made me laugh, and I loved his family. Terrel helped me learn about the Church as all my lessons were held at his house. He taught me repentance, and how much that was needed. He made me feel special in the oddest of ways. I loved it when he would get jealous, and would do anything to make sure everyone knew I was his and he was mine.
It was a fun relationship, and certainly a growing one as I know I learned a lot about myself. But I also developed a lot of self-esteem issues. Oops!
I have only truly loved three guys that I have dated... like more than a friendship love, and remember so much from all three relationships. I obviously married the third.
We were "together" for about three years, but part of that time he was on a mission and even part of that time was confusing and weird. But we for sure dated just over a year.
He was cute, tall, and older. He made me laugh, and I loved his family. Terrel helped me learn about the Church as all my lessons were held at his house. He taught me repentance, and how much that was needed. He made me feel special in the oddest of ways. I loved it when he would get jealous, and would do anything to make sure everyone knew I was his and he was mine.
It was a fun relationship, and certainly a growing one as I know I learned a lot about myself. But I also developed a lot of self-esteem issues. Oops!
I have only truly loved three guys that I have dated... like more than a friendship love, and remember so much from all three relationships. I obviously married the third.
Day 1: Introduce Yourself
Hi, my name is Angela Louise Rushton. I have been married just shy of a year to Brandon Neal Rushton, and it's been an interesting ride. We are owners of a Lhasa Apso names Lexie Jo. She will be 5 years old in September. Also, we are owners of a kitten named Squeaker. She will be one year old in July. We rescued her, and even bottle feed her. They are both my babies, and love me greatly. As I write this, they are both on the couch by me. It's pretty fun. Within the next year we will begin talking about starting a family and seeing what happens from there. I am excited to have my own family.
I have three college degrees: Associate of Science - Leading to a BBA, Bachelor of Science - Business with an emphasis in Marketing, and a Bachelor of Science - Child and Family Development. I loved being in class and learning new things, but I hated paying money for those who didn't care about teaching and never really taught. It burns one out quickly. My favorite part of college life was the organizations I got to be a part of, the friends I made, serving as a Resident Advisor for a year at Westminster College, and dancing for three years. There are so many memories of college life that I will never forget. I just wish I had people to talk about them with as my husband doesn't want to hear about my past life. I'm supposed to be innocent and pure. LOL!
My life currently consists of fashion, management, and cleaning. I work for Maurices, and love it. It's a wonderful company, and I enjoy what I do. I do, however, notice that I begin to care more about how I look and what is happening there than I probably should. But I just love it! I get my nails done and love the tanning bed! I have always loved those things.
I miss many things from my past, and wish some of those things were still there. I have more guy friends that I am close to than girl friends, but my guy friends are kept more private. It's not always easy and certainly not how I like it, but it's how things are sometimes. Life is certainly interesting.
I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and it's been a big part of my life since 1999. No, it has not always been easy being a member, but I know that there are so many wonderful things in my life because of it. I know that there are many blessings that will come from my membership, and I could never let those things go. They are too close to my heart. It is because of the church that I met my husband, and I am grateful that that is where we met.
Believe that is it about me. I'm not hard to figure out, and a pretty easy going person. Usually too serious, but I love having fun and being crazy.
I have three college degrees: Associate of Science - Leading to a BBA, Bachelor of Science - Business with an emphasis in Marketing, and a Bachelor of Science - Child and Family Development. I loved being in class and learning new things, but I hated paying money for those who didn't care about teaching and never really taught. It burns one out quickly. My favorite part of college life was the organizations I got to be a part of, the friends I made, serving as a Resident Advisor for a year at Westminster College, and dancing for three years. There are so many memories of college life that I will never forget. I just wish I had people to talk about them with as my husband doesn't want to hear about my past life. I'm supposed to be innocent and pure. LOL!
My life currently consists of fashion, management, and cleaning. I work for Maurices, and love it. It's a wonderful company, and I enjoy what I do. I do, however, notice that I begin to care more about how I look and what is happening there than I probably should. But I just love it! I get my nails done and love the tanning bed! I have always loved those things.
I miss many things from my past, and wish some of those things were still there. I have more guy friends that I am close to than girl friends, but my guy friends are kept more private. It's not always easy and certainly not how I like it, but it's how things are sometimes. Life is certainly interesting.
I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and it's been a big part of my life since 1999. No, it has not always been easy being a member, but I know that there are so many wonderful things in my life because of it. I know that there are many blessings that will come from my membership, and I could never let those things go. They are too close to my heart. It is because of the church that I met my husband, and I am grateful that that is where we met.
Believe that is it about me. I'm not hard to figure out, and a pretty easy going person. Usually too serious, but I love having fun and being crazy.
Monday, February 28, 2011
30 Day Blog Challenge
Day 01 - Introduce Yourself
Day 02 - Your First Love
Day 03 - Your Parents
Day 04 - What You Ate Today
Day 05 - Your Definition Of Love
Day 06 - Your Day
Day 07 - Your Best Friend
Day 08 - A Moment
Day 09 - Your Beliefs
Day 10 - What You Wore Today
Day 11 - Your Siblings
Day 12 - What's In Your Bag
Day 13 - This Week
Day 14 - What You Wore Today
Day 15 - Your First Kiss
Day 16 - Your Dreams
Day 17 - Your Favorite Birthday
Day 18 - Your Favorite Memory
Day 19 - Something You Regret
Day 20 - This Month
Day 21 - Another Moment
Day 22 - Something That Upsets You
Day 23 - Something That Makes You Feel Better
Day 24 - Something That Makes You Cry
Day 25 - A First
Day 26 - Your Fears
Day 27 - Your Favorite Place
Day 28 - Something That You Miss
Day 29 - Your Aspirations
Day 30 - One Last Moment
Join in so we can get to know each other more. :)
Day 02 - Your First Love
Day 03 - Your Parents
Day 04 - What You Ate Today
Day 05 - Your Definition Of Love
Day 06 - Your Day
Day 07 - Your Best Friend
Day 08 - A Moment
Day 09 - Your Beliefs
Day 10 - What You Wore Today
Day 11 - Your Siblings
Day 12 - What's In Your Bag
Day 13 - This Week
Day 14 - What You Wore Today
Day 15 - Your First Kiss
Day 16 - Your Dreams
Day 17 - Your Favorite Birthday
Day 18 - Your Favorite Memory
Day 19 - Something You Regret
Day 20 - This Month
Day 21 - Another Moment
Day 22 - Something That Upsets You
Day 23 - Something That Makes You Feel Better
Day 24 - Something That Makes You Cry
Day 25 - A First
Day 26 - Your Fears
Day 27 - Your Favorite Place
Day 28 - Something That You Miss
Day 29 - Your Aspirations
Day 30 - One Last Moment
Join in so we can get to know each other more. :)
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Church... Update
Well, I first should say that there are people in the Church that do care about me. It is good to know that there are a few lovely ladies in Utah that care about me, and one lovely lady up in Texas. I want you all to know how much it means to me! It's always fun to see those that are there for you throughout the years. It is often those you don't think it would be that's there. How I wish I was closer to all of you!
Church was better today. I'm not really sure it was anything about the lessons or anything as I didn't get a lot from them... oh well. But I did enjoy the time to not really worry about life, and to just read. I love that I have conference talks on my phone! I read a few about faith, and it was nice. Many of the lessons were on faith today too, but I focused more on the talks. :)
I found out that I have a calling, so hopefully they will tell me about it soon. haha It will be good to have something to do. And Home Teachers and Visiting Teachers should be coming soon! :) Things should hopefully start looking up, and I know a lot of it is because of your prayers! Thank you!!
Church was better today. I'm not really sure it was anything about the lessons or anything as I didn't get a lot from them... oh well. But I did enjoy the time to not really worry about life, and to just read. I love that I have conference talks on my phone! I read a few about faith, and it was nice. Many of the lessons were on faith today too, but I focused more on the talks. :)
I found out that I have a calling, so hopefully they will tell me about it soon. haha It will be good to have something to do. And Home Teachers and Visiting Teachers should be coming soon! :) Things should hopefully start looking up, and I know a lot of it is because of your prayers! Thank you!!
FB 30 Day Picture Challenge: Day 19
This is the only picture I have on my computer from when I was younger. I have to say that my freshman year of high school seems to be pretty young now. Wow - I'm so glad to be done with those days. But it's fun to look back at this picture and remember the days I was a Varsity Cheerleader.
FB 30 Day Picture Challenge: Day 18
One of my biggest insecurities is a scale. I HATE my weight! I really don't like how I look, but it will change... I hope!! *sigh*
FB 30 Day Picture Challenge: Day 17
Since I'm sure no one reads these, I can put this here. LOL! It's amazing what a pair of shoes (not these specifically, but similar) can do for a marriage. :D
FB 30 Day Picture Challenge: Day 16
My dad inspires me a lot! He's always been a strength to me. It's amazing to see all the things he has done, and I want to be as great as him! I hope that I can be like him when I grow up. He works hard, and provides for his family. My dad has always been there for me, and an ear when I needed it! I love my dad!
FB 30 Day Picture Challenge: Day 15
Before I die, I want to be a mother. I love little children, and I can't wait till I have my own family. It is the one thing I've always wanted to do! Yay for mothers! :)
Thursday, February 17, 2011
FB 30 Day Picture Challenge: Day 14
I couldn't imagine my life without Lexie. She is my cuddle buddy, and always happy to see me. Lexie Jo may be a pain at times, but I love her. I look forward to seeing her, and I miss her when I'm gone. It's hard to believe that she will be 5 years old in September. As sad as it is, I think about what life will be like when she is gone, and it's going to be hard. Squeaker will lose a friend as I'm sure we'll still have her, my children will lose their first dog, and my life saver won't be here anymore. I guess I should love on her just a little more. :)
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
FB 30 Day Picture Challenge: Day 13
FB 30 Day Picture Challenge: Day 12
FB 30 Day Picture Challenge: Day 11
I very much dislike black eyed peas. They are so gross to me, and even if they are supposed to bring you luck at the beginning of the year, I will not take one single bite.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Church
Okay, so this may not make sense, and that's okay. It's more of just a moment to try to get thoughts together for myself.
Church, it's a good place for people to attend. It should be a safe place full of friends, love, and support. It was the place I used to love to be. It was where I wanted to go always, and never wanted to leave. Church was my favorite part of the week, and I felt like I had so much family and friends there to never need anything else. Boy, was I wrong.
Unfortunately, Church does not make me happy anymore. It's actually quite boring. I feel more alone there than I do anywhere else, including being at home alone when Brandon is at work or with friends. I miss, and I don't miss it. I miss, and people don't miss me.
There are things that are supposed to be in place, and no I'm not relying on other people for my happiness, but my happiness comes from everything but. My life has gone through a lot of changes, and many of those that know me, know those changes. I have to admit that what I've come back to brings me NOTHING of what I had before I came back. Maybe part of that is me, but there is no desire or feeling of like something is missing.
My closest friends are not LDS, and don't really attend Church. I believe in being a good person, and serving the Lord. I believe in serving those around you. I believe in taking time to just rest. Attending Church is a good thing, but if I don't go, I don't feel weird about it. It's sad, but I feel like I go for others as I don't want questions.
I have no support or follow up, and that is what I think is the hardest. We have talks, lessons, and conferences about reaching out to people and bringing them back. We are taught over and over to make sure we visit everyone and seek those who are struggling. Sorry, but I don't see that happening.
No, this is not to get people to reach out to me because if you don't really care, stay the heck away. I'm sorry, but there is NO time in this world to be fake. There is NO time for people to just act like they care about you when they really don't.
I want to enjoy this life, and know that those around me care about me. Right now, it's unfortunate for me to say that there isn't anyone from Church involved with that, and if that's the case, how do I get my heart, mind, and soul to believe that's where I should be.
Church, it's a good place for people to attend. It should be a safe place full of friends, love, and support. It was the place I used to love to be. It was where I wanted to go always, and never wanted to leave. Church was my favorite part of the week, and I felt like I had so much family and friends there to never need anything else. Boy, was I wrong.
Unfortunately, Church does not make me happy anymore. It's actually quite boring. I feel more alone there than I do anywhere else, including being at home alone when Brandon is at work or with friends. I miss, and I don't miss it. I miss, and people don't miss me.
There are things that are supposed to be in place, and no I'm not relying on other people for my happiness, but my happiness comes from everything but. My life has gone through a lot of changes, and many of those that know me, know those changes. I have to admit that what I've come back to brings me NOTHING of what I had before I came back. Maybe part of that is me, but there is no desire or feeling of like something is missing.
My closest friends are not LDS, and don't really attend Church. I believe in being a good person, and serving the Lord. I believe in serving those around you. I believe in taking time to just rest. Attending Church is a good thing, but if I don't go, I don't feel weird about it. It's sad, but I feel like I go for others as I don't want questions.
I have no support or follow up, and that is what I think is the hardest. We have talks, lessons, and conferences about reaching out to people and bringing them back. We are taught over and over to make sure we visit everyone and seek those who are struggling. Sorry, but I don't see that happening.
No, this is not to get people to reach out to me because if you don't really care, stay the heck away. I'm sorry, but there is NO time in this world to be fake. There is NO time for people to just act like they care about you when they really don't.
I want to enjoy this life, and know that those around me care about me. Right now, it's unfortunate for me to say that there isn't anyone from Church involved with that, and if that's the case, how do I get my heart, mind, and soul to believe that's where I should be.
FB 30 Day Picture Challenge: Day 10
FB 30 Day Picture Challenge: Day 9
Friday, February 11, 2011
FB 30 Day Picture Challenge: Day 8
I laugh because of all the things that were getting put on me or handed to me prior to the gifts, dinner, and craziness. :) Yes, my hat has condoms all over the veil, and I am holding a penis straw. Be jealous! :) And, I think I still have a penis straw somewhere. It glows in the dark, and oh, so many laughs. That really was a great night.
FB 30 Day Picture Challenge: Day 7
My wedding/engagement ring is the most important item I own. I can say that it is one instead of two as we had them joined prior to the wedding. It means so much to me because of what it stands for. I hate not having it on, and just love it so much.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
FB 30 Day Picture Challenge: Day 6
I would love to trade places with Jennifer Love Hewitt for a day, and maybe trade bodies too. LOL
FB 30 Day Picture Challenge: Day 5
Monday, February 7, 2011
FB 30 Day Picture Challenge: Day 4
So my favorite night was not just my wedding night, but also the night I got engaged. Those were two days in my life that changed so much. I knew without any doubt that Brandon loved me for me, and I was able to commit myself to him for all time.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
FB 30 Day Picture Challenge: Day 3
Saturday, February 5, 2011
FB 30 Day Picture Challenge: Day 2
Friday, February 4, 2011
Really Neat Site
Okay - so I'm a member of The Nest now after I was a member of The Knot. Of course, one day I'll be a member of The Bump or whatever that is. :) But for now, as a member of The Nest, they sent out an e-mail about some valentine stuff. I was looking through the different gift options, and one was pretty awesome that I wanted to pass along. You can get flowers, and 5% of the cost goes to help out a non-profit organization. That's really cool!!
Check them out... OrganicBouquet
Check them out... OrganicBouquet
FB 30 Day Picture Challenge: Day 1
I'm going to try to do this, but we'll see if I make it online every day. If nothing else, I'll make it through them when I get the chance. Life is about to get crazy, but why not look back at things that make you. :)
15 Facts of Me
1. I love fashion and clothes. It's more of an addiction than just a love.
2. I hate being cold, but miss the Utah winters.
3. I love candles, and would rather have a ton of candles lit than having a light turned on.
4. I really dislike my body, but have become too lazy to do anything about it.
5. I want breast implants, and no, I don't care what you think. But I'll listen to you.
6. My wedding day was the happiest day of my life, and I can still get those feelings when I just look at my pictures from that day and the day before.
7. I miss drinking alcohol, but have made the choice to not drink.
8. I love babies and children! I was once told before by an ex-boyfriend that that was one of the things he loved most about me... how I looked when I was with children. He said that no matter what was going on in my life, he always saw pure happiness. I would have to agree.
9. I miss dancing so much, and I miss the teams and even the drama!
10. I want to be rich, and never have to worry about money.
11. I love cheese! Seriously, I am a rat. But cheese doesn't always like me. :(
12. I love planners, and being able to plan out close to 6 months of my life at a time.
13. Chips and dip (any kind) is totally a meal in my book! My husband argues with me often how it isn't.
14. I don't like chocolate unless it is mixed with fruit or nuts, and no, I don't like chocolate cake or chocolate ice cream or chocolate icing. Brownies are okay though.
15. I'm a lame wife, but I'm working on that!
My wedding day! 3.13.10
15 Facts of Me
1. I love fashion and clothes. It's more of an addiction than just a love.
2. I hate being cold, but miss the Utah winters.
3. I love candles, and would rather have a ton of candles lit than having a light turned on.
4. I really dislike my body, but have become too lazy to do anything about it.
5. I want breast implants, and no, I don't care what you think. But I'll listen to you.
6. My wedding day was the happiest day of my life, and I can still get those feelings when I just look at my pictures from that day and the day before.
7. I miss drinking alcohol, but have made the choice to not drink.
8. I love babies and children! I was once told before by an ex-boyfriend that that was one of the things he loved most about me... how I looked when I was with children. He said that no matter what was going on in my life, he always saw pure happiness. I would have to agree.
9. I miss dancing so much, and I miss the teams and even the drama!
10. I want to be rich, and never have to worry about money.
11. I love cheese! Seriously, I am a rat. But cheese doesn't always like me. :(
12. I love planners, and being able to plan out close to 6 months of my life at a time.
13. Chips and dip (any kind) is totally a meal in my book! My husband argues with me often how it isn't.
14. I don't like chocolate unless it is mixed with fruit or nuts, and no, I don't like chocolate cake or chocolate ice cream or chocolate icing. Brownies are okay though.
15. I'm a lame wife, but I'm working on that!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Count Your Blessings
A friend of mine did a post like this today, and I feel that it is something that I should do too. Thanks Kati!
Count Your Blessings
When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings; name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.
Count your blessings; Name them one by one.
Count your blessings; See what God hath done.
Count your blessings; Name them one by one.
Count your many blessings; See what God hath done
Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings; ev'ry doubt will fly,
And you will be singing as the days go by.
Chorus
When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you his wealth untold.
Count your many blessings; money cannot buy
Your reward in heaven nor your home on high.
Chorus
So amid the conflict, whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged; God is over all.
Count your many blessings; angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey's end.
Chorus
So I posted the whole song because it's a really great song with so many wonderful verses. I have been blessed with many wonderful things, and especially those things that I cannot buy. Below is just a list of some of the wonderful things in my life...
The Gospel of Jesus Christ.I have Christ in my life, and know of His teachings. I know of the truthfulness and fullness of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He is my Savior, my Elder Brother, and my Friend.
Family.My parents and brother are amazing. I love spending time with my mom, and just talking about everything in life... and I mean EVERYTHING! My dad is still my dad; one that I am able to curl up with in the chair whenever I want. My in-laws are pretty great too. I don't know my sibling in-laws very well, but I know they are wonderful people!
Husband.I had to put Brandon in his own group as he is certainly his own person. He loves me, and although we don't have the perfect marriage and are constantly having to learn how to be a better wife and husband, I know he is there for me. There are little things he'll do every once in awhile that just make my heart melt, and helps me to remember how much I do love him. As he has told me, there are three things I can be certain of... death, taxes, and he's not going anywhere. :)
My animals.These girls are my babies. The love me unconditionally, and show it often. As I type this, I have my kitten laying beside me with her head on my lap. No matter if I'm in bed or on the couch, I always have a kitten and puppy with me. They are excited to see me come, and sad to see me go. I love that I had the chance to see Lexie grow from birth through pictures and since I got her at 7 weeks old. I love that I got to take care of Squeaker from around 10 days old to now. They are so much of a salvation to me.
Material things.I have been so blessed to be able to have the things that I want without too much struggle. I have a wonderful job that allows me to have fun and pay bills. My husband is great with taking care of things too, and between the both of us, we are able to have electronics of any kind, a house, two vehicles, and so many things.
Friendships.I may not have a lot of friends, but I certainly have some true friends. I have people who care about me on so many different levels. I love that I even have a friend who I have never met, and yet, I feel close to her. It's amazing how certain friendships are supposed to be there, and will be there no matter what.
There's a reason for everything! No, I will not pretend to know why some things have happened the way they have in my life, but I will say that I wouldn't want it any other way. It's not always easy; actually, it's very rarely easy, but it always works out in the end and becomes amazing!! There are so many more blessings in my life I am sure of it, but those are the few things that come to my mind right now that are just things that are important to me.
Count Your Blessings
When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings; name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.
Count your blessings; Name them one by one.
Count your blessings; See what God hath done.
Count your blessings; Name them one by one.
Count your many blessings; See what God hath done
Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings; ev'ry doubt will fly,
And you will be singing as the days go by.
Chorus
When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you his wealth untold.
Count your many blessings; money cannot buy
Your reward in heaven nor your home on high.
Chorus
So amid the conflict, whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged; God is over all.
Count your many blessings; angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey's end.
Chorus
So I posted the whole song because it's a really great song with so many wonderful verses. I have been blessed with many wonderful things, and especially those things that I cannot buy. Below is just a list of some of the wonderful things in my life...
The Gospel of Jesus Christ.I have Christ in my life, and know of His teachings. I know of the truthfulness and fullness of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He is my Savior, my Elder Brother, and my Friend.
Family.My parents and brother are amazing. I love spending time with my mom, and just talking about everything in life... and I mean EVERYTHING! My dad is still my dad; one that I am able to curl up with in the chair whenever I want. My in-laws are pretty great too. I don't know my sibling in-laws very well, but I know they are wonderful people!
Husband.I had to put Brandon in his own group as he is certainly his own person. He loves me, and although we don't have the perfect marriage and are constantly having to learn how to be a better wife and husband, I know he is there for me. There are little things he'll do every once in awhile that just make my heart melt, and helps me to remember how much I do love him. As he has told me, there are three things I can be certain of... death, taxes, and he's not going anywhere. :)
My animals.These girls are my babies. The love me unconditionally, and show it often. As I type this, I have my kitten laying beside me with her head on my lap. No matter if I'm in bed or on the couch, I always have a kitten and puppy with me. They are excited to see me come, and sad to see me go. I love that I had the chance to see Lexie grow from birth through pictures and since I got her at 7 weeks old. I love that I got to take care of Squeaker from around 10 days old to now. They are so much of a salvation to me.
Material things.I have been so blessed to be able to have the things that I want without too much struggle. I have a wonderful job that allows me to have fun and pay bills. My husband is great with taking care of things too, and between the both of us, we are able to have electronics of any kind, a house, two vehicles, and so many things.
Friendships.I may not have a lot of friends, but I certainly have some true friends. I have people who care about me on so many different levels. I love that I even have a friend who I have never met, and yet, I feel close to her. It's amazing how certain friendships are supposed to be there, and will be there no matter what.
There's a reason for everything! No, I will not pretend to know why some things have happened the way they have in my life, but I will say that I wouldn't want it any other way. It's not always easy; actually, it's very rarely easy, but it always works out in the end and becomes amazing!! There are so many more blessings in my life I am sure of it, but those are the few things that come to my mind right now that are just things that are important to me.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Singing
Music is absolutely an amazing thing. It is one thing that I connect to most in my life, with any genre. Yes, music from LDS artists are typically the ones that touch me the most or hymns, but there are several country songs that touch me too. Remember, I walked down the aisle to the song posted below, and did so because it touched me greatly.
We started choir practice up again today for Ward Conference at the end of February, and I'm excited about the song we are singing. We are singing "Where Can I Turn for Peace?" and that is one song that I love. Today Sister Gordy said something that touched me so much. She mentioned that this song has a sweet spot as most songs do, and the part that touched her so much was when she's in a very hard spot, with whatever it is, that Jesus Christ is the only one that can reach her and does it when she is alone... privately. That touched me so much. I've always loved that song, but it touches me even more right now as I search for that place of peace.
I love to sing. I am not very good at it at all, but what joy I find in it. Music is one way that I know how to find answers, share my testimony, share my hearts greatest desires, and to just find a little bit of happiness in all the craziness.
We started choir practice up again today for Ward Conference at the end of February, and I'm excited about the song we are singing. We are singing "Where Can I Turn for Peace?" and that is one song that I love. Today Sister Gordy said something that touched me so much. She mentioned that this song has a sweet spot as most songs do, and the part that touched her so much was when she's in a very hard spot, with whatever it is, that Jesus Christ is the only one that can reach her and does it when she is alone... privately. That touched me so much. I've always loved that song, but it touches me even more right now as I search for that place of peace.
I love to sing. I am not very good at it at all, but what joy I find in it. Music is one way that I know how to find answers, share my testimony, share my hearts greatest desires, and to just find a little bit of happiness in all the craziness.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Days Off
I love it when I get to have a day off, and get to spend it at home. It's not something I get to do a whole lot, but I enjoy it when it does happen. Today is my day off, and it's been nice. I didn't get out of bed officially until 10am, and that's late for me. I have just been washing clothes and chilling. It's nice to get some things done, and not have to worry about what I look like. :)
But the day is still full of many different things. I was asked last night to sub for a primary class, so I guess I should prepare that lesson. This should be interesting since I haven't taught a primary class... shoot, a class period in over a year. Hopefully it will all come together, and the kids will learn something. I have my doubts, but here's to hoping. I also have a wedding reception to attend in Lufkin. I'm excited for my friend Laura. She deserves her happily ever after that she has gotten today! And of course, there are things to do for work. On my day off tomorrow, I am having to work as we are doing a floor change. It's a big one, and I'm excited about it. But I hate that it is taking away from my day off. Guess I'm going to be leaving early on a few days!! :)
Life is going, but I'm trying to figure things out and make plans.
But the day is still full of many different things. I was asked last night to sub for a primary class, so I guess I should prepare that lesson. This should be interesting since I haven't taught a primary class... shoot, a class period in over a year. Hopefully it will all come together, and the kids will learn something. I have my doubts, but here's to hoping. I also have a wedding reception to attend in Lufkin. I'm excited for my friend Laura. She deserves her happily ever after that she has gotten today! And of course, there are things to do for work. On my day off tomorrow, I am having to work as we are doing a floor change. It's a big one, and I'm excited about it. But I hate that it is taking away from my day off. Guess I'm going to be leaving early on a few days!! :)
Life is going, but I'm trying to figure things out and make plans.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Another Vent...
You know, for those who do read this, which probably is very, very few, I'm sure it seems like I'm just a depressed person. There are those moments I am, but I promise that I'm not typically a depressed person. I'm just having a hard time finding those happy moments, and really having them.
As I sit here alone while my husband is having fun with his friends, I wonder where that went for me. Brandon says that all women cling to their boyfriends/husbands because they don't have a lot of friends or they just don't really know anything else. I say I cling to my husband because I want to hang out with the one who should be my best friend. He keeps me safe when I'm in his arms, and it's just so comfy.
But then, I also think... where did all my friends go? I used to go out all the time, and be the life of a party. Single life was amazing, and never a dull moment. There were too many times I would just have to try to find time alone as I was always doing. What caused that to change? Where have all my friends gone? I guess several are now married and even with kids. Several live 1600 miles away which really stinks. And I guess many are guys, and hanging out with them just wouldn't work. Not because it would bother me, but I know it would bother Brandon and to many, not look good. I'm sorry that I would rather have several guy friends and a few good girl friends than the other way around. So yea, I need friends! I need friends that aren't going to judge me because of things they learn about me or whatever it may be.
And the biggest worry of all... that I will lose my job. When I was hired, I was given 6 months to train, learn, and find a store. If I don't succeed within that 6 months, I can be demoted or fired. Demotion only comes if there is an opening, and that opening is certainly not available. Three months left to go, and right now, nothing looks to be happening. I have had one interview, and normally I feel confident... none what so ever this time. I don't like this feeling! I don't like knowing what I'm going to be doing.
I'm not a depressed person... I just have a lot of things that are pulling me in so many directions that I just don't know what to do.
As I sit here alone while my husband is having fun with his friends, I wonder where that went for me. Brandon says that all women cling to their boyfriends/husbands because they don't have a lot of friends or they just don't really know anything else. I say I cling to my husband because I want to hang out with the one who should be my best friend. He keeps me safe when I'm in his arms, and it's just so comfy.
But then, I also think... where did all my friends go? I used to go out all the time, and be the life of a party. Single life was amazing, and never a dull moment. There were too many times I would just have to try to find time alone as I was always doing. What caused that to change? Where have all my friends gone? I guess several are now married and even with kids. Several live 1600 miles away which really stinks. And I guess many are guys, and hanging out with them just wouldn't work. Not because it would bother me, but I know it would bother Brandon and to many, not look good. I'm sorry that I would rather have several guy friends and a few good girl friends than the other way around. So yea, I need friends! I need friends that aren't going to judge me because of things they learn about me or whatever it may be.
And the biggest worry of all... that I will lose my job. When I was hired, I was given 6 months to train, learn, and find a store. If I don't succeed within that 6 months, I can be demoted or fired. Demotion only comes if there is an opening, and that opening is certainly not available. Three months left to go, and right now, nothing looks to be happening. I have had one interview, and normally I feel confident... none what so ever this time. I don't like this feeling! I don't like knowing what I'm going to be doing.
I'm not a depressed person... I just have a lot of things that are pulling me in so many directions that I just don't know what to do.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Babies, Babies, Babies
All I seem to think about lately are babies. I want to hold them, love them, and even have them. It's not time because both Brandon and I have to be ready, but man, I am wanting myself a baby. I wish I didn't think about it so much because it really does get frustrating. I am even sure Brandon is tired of me saying "I want a baby," or "I want a family." But no matter what, I still want a baby!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Never Seem To Know
So... my mind and my heart is turning once again. I just don't seem to know what I want anymore which is not cool. I keep trying to find some kind of answer or direction, and yet, it seems like I'm not getting too much else. It's frustrating!!
Okay... growing up, I always wanted to be a mother. I wanted to raise my children, and to teach them. Yea - I wanted to stay at home and be that perfect mom and wife. I wanted to have the perfect house, perfect food, and just everything together. Then, over the past year or two, I thought that a career life was for me. I wanted to be a mom still, but I wanted to take care of me too. I figured that I could handle the two full-time jobs, and make it through life.
Well, here recently I have really tried to figure out what I need to do. So much of me is starting to want to go back to the stay at home mom, and other parts of me are wanting the career life. I never seem to get any type of response from my husband, and it stinks! I need input! I need feedback!
Okay... growing up, I always wanted to be a mother. I wanted to raise my children, and to teach them. Yea - I wanted to stay at home and be that perfect mom and wife. I wanted to have the perfect house, perfect food, and just everything together. Then, over the past year or two, I thought that a career life was for me. I wanted to be a mom still, but I wanted to take care of me too. I figured that I could handle the two full-time jobs, and make it through life.
Well, here recently I have really tried to figure out what I need to do. So much of me is starting to want to go back to the stay at home mom, and other parts of me are wanting the career life. I never seem to get any type of response from my husband, and it stinks! I need input! I need feedback!
Monday, January 10, 2011
Vacation
Brandon and I have not been able to really take any type of trip since we've been married, and that stinks. We are wanting/needing to go somewhere, but I'm not sure well. Any suggestions?
The only trips we've taken is to Fiesta Texas, Six Flags over Texas, and New Orleans since we've been dating. So we need to have something fun, romantic, and away from life. :)
The only trips we've taken is to Fiesta Texas, Six Flags over Texas, and New Orleans since we've been dating. So we need to have something fun, romantic, and away from life. :)
Saturday, January 1, 2011
The Year 2010
As I have sat here for the past hour and a half reading blogs and Facebook posts, listening to my stomach rumble (which I have fixed with some Apple Jacks), and held my sweet kitten, Squeaker, I have tried to think about 2010 and all it brought. I have tried to think about 2011, and what it could possibly bring. Resolutions have been running through my mind, but I just haven't seemed to find anything great just yet. Maybe I am thinking about it all too much.
Well, with all of that said, here are the highlights of every month for 2010. I hope I can remember everything, and I don't forget anything important. It's very likely to happen.
JANUARY: Wedding planning... Went to Minnesota.
FEBRUARY: More wedding planning... Bought our first house.
MARCH: MARRIED!! Turned 27, and started working full-time again at Petsense.
APRIL: Brandon turned 31, and we celebrated in New Orleans for a weekend.
MAY: Kelsey (Brandon's best friend) and Jennifer got married
JUNE: Neches River Rendezvous with my dad, brother, and sister-in-law.
JULY: Chopped my hair off
AUGUST: Bottle-feed a baby kitten to which we now know as Squeaker.
SEPTEMBER: Lexie Jo turned 4. Went to Savannah, GA for Phi U!
OCTOBER: First interview in over 3 years for a new job
NOVEMBER: Attend NCFR in Minnesota. Got a new job at Maurices!!!
DECEMBER: Finished school FOREVER! Took care of a sick husband on NYE.
Obviously there are many things that happened, and I am sure I have forgotten just about all of them, but there are some of the highlights. It will be interesting to see what the new year brings. Another blog about resolutions and dreams and wishes and hopes.
Well, with all of that said, here are the highlights of every month for 2010. I hope I can remember everything, and I don't forget anything important. It's very likely to happen.
JANUARY: Wedding planning... Went to Minnesota.
FEBRUARY: More wedding planning... Bought our first house.
MARCH: MARRIED!! Turned 27, and started working full-time again at Petsense.
APRIL: Brandon turned 31, and we celebrated in New Orleans for a weekend.
MAY: Kelsey (Brandon's best friend) and Jennifer got married
JUNE: Neches River Rendezvous with my dad, brother, and sister-in-law.
JULY: Chopped my hair off
AUGUST: Bottle-feed a baby kitten to which we now know as Squeaker.
SEPTEMBER: Lexie Jo turned 4. Went to Savannah, GA for Phi U!
OCTOBER: First interview in over 3 years for a new job
NOVEMBER: Attend NCFR in Minnesota. Got a new job at Maurices!!!
DECEMBER: Finished school FOREVER! Took care of a sick husband on NYE.
Obviously there are many things that happened, and I am sure I have forgotten just about all of them, but there are some of the highlights. It will be interesting to see what the new year brings. Another blog about resolutions and dreams and wishes and hopes.
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