Answered Prayers

So it's rare that I ever feel that I get an answer to a prayer very quickly. Usually it's many days before an answer will come, and that's only if I get an answer. There have been many times in my life that I know the Lord just had that much trust in me which was quite scary.

The other day, Brandon was unable to find his wedding ring. He takes it off when he eats, plays video games, or goes to bed. It's a normal thing to be at home, and him to not have his ring on which is fine. But he couldn't find it on Monday, and had search all throughout the house. We went to Shreveport on Monday night, and decided that we would clean and look for it on Tuesday since we knew it would be late when we got back home.

It is Tuesday, and we are still unable to find his ring. He was going through everything, and just really trying to trace all of his steps from Sunday evening. While he was downstairs looking, I decided to get on my knees and say a small prayer. This is not something I normally do, but I figured that it wouldn't hurt. I know that anything is possible through the Lord. Not even 5 minutes later, Brandon finds his ring.

It was in a very obvious spot (of course this is after it is found), and the way he found it was by dropping a dvd that he was going to put in (and Brandon normally doesn't drop anything). My prayer was certainly answered!! How grateful I was for that tender mercy! I knew my prayer was answered, but I also saw how much that ring and all that was involved with it meant to Brandon.

What To Do

I tend to go through the same thing every few months in just trying to figure out where I am going with my life, and what I want to do. Here I am again... trying to figure it all out.

Really, one would figure that I would know what I was good at or what I enjoyed by now... I mean, I am 27. But it seems like I am still confused. There are days that I think I should just be a professional babysitter. Other days I want to be back in clothing retail. Management is certainly always a thought. I've even thought about the bank or being a secretary. I enjoy organization. I enjoy teaching. I enjoy children. I love to dance.

There are so many things that I enjoy, and I figure I am pretty good at a lot of things. But I don't really know... :-(Ultimately I want to be a wife and a mother, but I know that it's not time for the mother part and I'm still working on the wife part. :) At the same time, I don't know if I will be able to stay home like I would love.

What do you think? What should I do with my life?

Friendships

There are things in life that I realize I need a little more than I thought. Friendships are certainly one of those things.... TRUE friendships. As I've gotten older and married, I have noticed great changes in this area. Those who I once thought would be friends for life have pushed me away... even completely for some. Those who I expected to be good friends have let me down as they "preach" one thing and do something quite differently. And those who have actually been there are ones I never thought would last for so long.

However, I have to state that there are a couple friends that I've had for many years, and I know those friendships will last forever. But we don't live close to each other, and that's hard. One of my very best friends is moving closer to me, and I'm so excited! We are "twins" in every way, and it will be nice to have someone to spend time with. My husband is my best friend, and one I love to be with all the time, but I need a break just as he gets a break with his friends!! It's important so that we don't kill each other. :) hehe

But I've just thought about friendships a lot, and I've thought about the friends that I've had over the past few years. Many of those friends are guys, and although those friendships can't be as strong as they once were, I want them there. I love people, and I love being around people. I love my friends - old and new! It makes me sad when they let me go, or they let go of the relationship that once mattered so much.

Love

There are so many things to love in life. The sun, the rain, cheese, clouds, mountains, beaches, water, kisses, truth, exercise, and so many many more things. But something I love more than anything is my husband!!

Over the past three months it has been a roller coaster ride for me with so many different changes in life. I have been trying to figure out so much, and when times get tough, I tend to pull away and have feelings change. It's hard, and often times affects everything important to me.

Yesterday I got to spend the day with my husband, and we just went out. It wasn't anything amazing as we just got my rings and earrings cleaned that he bought me, and looked around for different things. We got myself a Wii which is certainly fun. But through it all, I found the love and giddiness I've been missing with my husband!

He is amazing in so many ways, and although we have some GREAT differences, I fell in love with him for a reason over a year ago. That love is still there, and it's so amazing to feel it again and again! The first time he said "I love you" was after we got back from my friend Sadie's wedding reception. That was such a hard night as so many people I trusted and cared about judged him. But not all and that is something I am grateful for! (Thanks Sadie!!)

How amazing it is to love someone and know that they love you... no matter what!!!!

Sister-In-Law

So in the past nine months, I have gained 3 sister-in-laws. One was back in September when my brother got married, and then two when I got married. I've always wanted a sister, and always hoped that whoever my brother married or I married would become a dear sister and friend to me.

Well, I'm not super close to my brother's wife, and I know a lot of it is the distance. Also, we are pretty different. Nothing wrong with it at all, and I love her dearly.

Brandon doesn't have blood sisters; however, he has two older brothers who are married to wonderful ladies. One is in Utah, and is pretty sigh at first. I believe I've only spoken to her maybe two times, and not much at those times. Kind of sad, but maybe over the years that will change. And then the other lives in Alabama. I have to say that she is becoming a sister to me, and a friend!

I was lucky to have lunch with her today, and spend some time with her and the family last night. I loved it! It was good to talk to someone who kind of understands. I feel it's going to be a great relationship, and I am sad that we don't live closer!!! But it's just nice to feel a part of the family more, and to be able to start to find some things that I've been wanting. Yay for fabulous sister-in-laws!! :)

My Mess I Call Hair

Okay... so don't look at me specifically as it's not a good picture of me due to fake smile and burnt face (had been on the Neches River for 3 1/2 hours with my dad), but look at the hair. My hair has gotten quite long over the past few years, and it's time for a change. You can even see the color is growing out, but it was dyed just the week before I got married to hide the grey. (Yes, I am 27 with grey hair; I've had it for several years.)

What do you think would look good? Should I change up the color? How short should I cut it?

Let me know your opinion! :)

PS - Hair appointment for cut and style on July 20.

Struggles

Self-esteem... not very high. Appearance... don't like too much. Weight... so not my favorite.

I have a lot of self-doubts right now, and I'm still trying to figure out how to get past them. I feel quite inadequate for different things, and then wonder if I'm doing the right thing or not. I hope that one day I'll be able to look in the mirror and like what I see. I hope that one day I'll actually feel worth something.

Until that day, I guess I'll keep pushing through as I do every day already. :-/