Day 27: My Favorite Place

I have to admit this is kind of hard.  My favorite place is typically in Brandon's arms, but I love being in the shower with the water just pounding on me.  I even like Brandon in the shower.  LOL!  Oops.  :)  I love being with good people and in good conversation.  My favorite place once was the dance floor, and I'm sure if I had the opportunity, it would be again.

Day 26: My Fears

I fear growing old.  I fear pregnancy.  I fear gaining weight.  I fear losing my husband.  I fear death.  I fear living my life still not knowing.  I fear making the wrong choices.  I fear debt.  I fear being a bad mother.  I fear being a poor wife.  I fear losing friends.  I fear the "what ifs".  I fear not being important.  I fear being forgotten.

Day 25: A First

We all have many firsts in our lives, and we are a part of many firsts for those we are around.

I was a very close friends first kiss, and still to this day, I am sure, as it was the case a couple years back, he still kisses the exact same way.

But here lately, I have had a lot of firsts... first husband, first house, and first Mustang GT.  They have all been pretty exciting.  I can't wait till we have our first child, first nursery, and first yard.

Day 24: Something That Makes Me Cry

I cry at a lot of things.  Hurting those around me or having them think differently of me than I want.  Good music.  Looking at pictures from happy moments and family members that have passed.  Hitting my head with the ceiling fan going full speed.  Not being able to do something.

My husband got a new Ford Mustang GT yesterday, and yes, I am jealous.  It is OUR car as he puts it, and he says he'll let me drive it when I want.  Only one problem, it's a standard and well, I'm an automatic girl.  We started to practice some last night, and all I did was stall out.  I get nervous, scared, and sad.  I didn't cry, but it's only because I held it back.  I want to drive it so much.  I feel I should be able to drive it, but I don't know if I'll ever get it.  *sigh*

Day 23: Something that Makes Me Feel Better

When I'm really stressed, crying helps me feel better.  Working out is another thing that feels fabulous.  Good movies are nice.  It's hard to think of the things that make me feel better as it seems as if it's hard for me to do.  :(

Day 22: Something that Upsets Me

There are several things that upset me, but what I think I get upset about the most is when I feel as if I don't matter.  The times I feel that others are more important to my husband than me.  I'm upset when I feel as if I've let people down.  There really are several things that upset me, but not feeling important is probably the thing that hurts the most.

Day 21: A Moment

My moment happened today... finding out that I didn't have to work until 4pm, but that I was done at 11am!!  Oh - it was great going in at 6:45am to get off early.  :)

Day 20: This Month

The month of March is a wonderful month.  It's the month of spring and new life.  It's my birthday month which makes it wonderful.  It's my wedding anniversary month as well.  Why I would ever get married in the same month as my birthday, I don't know.  LOL!

This month has consisted of growth and change.  I am leaving my current job for a new one.  I am preparing for new things.  I even got a new hair cut.  :)  It's a good month.

Day 19: Something I Regret

There are days I regret leaving Utah, and there are days I regret changing jobs.  However, I know that everything I do and have done have gotten me to where I am today.  Because of that, I have no regrets.  That's a good feeling!

Day 18: My Favorite Memory

My favorite memory would be my marriage.  The day I got married was a wonderful day.  It was full of so many emotions.  I was nervous, but I was so excited as well.  It was a perfect day outside, and everything just went well.  I would never want to live that day again as I was so stressed before and that morning.  I think what made it so perfect and my favorite, it was seeing Brandon cry when he saw me.  It was one of the few times I've ever seen true emotion from him.  Oh, I love that day!!

I Need Your Help

Okay blog stalkers, if there are any of you, I really need your help.  I need your help with two things.

1) To not eat any junk food!  My husband stated that my diet is poor and that all I eat is junk food.  I disagree that it is all I eat, but I do eat a lot of chips, dips, and cheese.  And every so often, some candy of some sort.  Oh yea, and an entire box of mac & cheese to myself for lunch.  :)

2) To not care what my husband does.  Now this is going to be a hard one; a very hard one, but one I need to do.

Please help me!!

Day 17: My Favorite Birthday

My favorite birthday was my 21st birthday.  No, it's not because I could drink as I wasn't drinking then.  I was really working hard on being a good person.  It was because it went this way...

It was a beautiful Sunday.  I felt beautiful, and was just happy.
I went to Church, and actually got there really early.
I got a bag of Sour Patch Kids from Jordan Larsen (he was an Elder at that time).
Brandon Mathis gave a talk after recently coming home from his mission.  I thought he was cute, and we actually talked some that day after Church.
I got home from Church to see my mom's parents there visiting for my birthday.  It was so good to see them that day.  My grandma brought me have a container of those twirl sticks that are crispy.  Oh, I can't remember the name of them, but they are tasty!  We put a puzzle together as well.  It was something we always did together.
My mom cooked something yummy I'm sure, but I don't remember what.
Off to Stake YSA in Henderson I went.  So that meant I drove to Nacogdoches to meet up with everyone, and then up to Henderson we all went.  It was so much fun, and Brandon Mathis sat by me.  Yes, I was excited.
When we got back to the Ward Building after our meeting, there were my two best friends at that time - Abby and Jen - standing there with a basket of goodies and a sign that said "Happy Birthday Angela".  That meant so much to me.

It was the perfect day and birthday.  I spent it with friends and family, and I got to worship the one who is why I had such a perfect day.

Temptations

We all have temptations, and some are small while others are large.  To some, some things don't seem like a temptation as they do to others.  As for me, I truly only have one major temptation that literally haunts me every day and multiple times a day.  Truth... I am tempted right now.

A nice margarita or Smirnoff or Mike's Hard Lemonade sounds SO good right now.  It would be nice to just have one, but alas, I am fighting that urge.  It is not easy at all, and when you are around alcohol so much, it makes it even harder.

I never drank to get drunk; I drank because I liked the taste.  I drank to just relax and chill for the moment.

I wish I knew how to get rid of this constant desire to just have one.  It is very bothersome in so many ways.  I can't believe I'm sharing this information anyways, but it's my blog so why not.  One day I hope it'll go away!!

Day 16: My Dreams

This is a hard one as I'm not completely sure what my dreams are anymore.  I know the things I want to be, but I'm not sure if they are dreams or not.  Now, if you are talking about dreams you have in your sleep, then I couldn't really tell you too much about that either.  I often don't dream or don't remember.  I do remember last night dreaming that I was cheating on my husband and was going to leave him.  That was weird as it was the night before our first anniversary.  Yea, not so sure about that one.

Day 15: My First Kiss

Wow... my first REAL kiss, or what we often refer to as a real kiss was when I was 16 years old.  It could have happened earlier, but I would always get nervous and laugh.  This time, it just happened.  We were on a bus coming back from our band trip to the Bahamas.  Everyone was asleep, and he was younger than me.  I don't know why I thought Dustin was a cutie, but I did.  OMG - It was the worst kiss EVER.  It was sloppy and just blah.  Why did I think I was missing out?!  LOL!

But if I think about it, I remember my first kiss with every guy, and yes, there is a list that I could probably get in order.  :)

My last first kiss was kind of funny, but great.  The first time Brandon and I kissed was in June 2009.  He was leaving my place, and I think went to kiss my cheek or forehead, I don't remember exactly.  But I moved my head, and it was just kind of awkward.  So we tried again for an actual kiss, and it was great.  I remember us both just smiling.  Well, needless to say, we couldn't stop kissing from that day on.  :)

Day 14: What I Wore Today

Today has been a lazy day in dress!!  I work my "Love Needs No Translation" shirt (GO Kristin!!) and my Madison capris.  White tank top underneath with my Nikes.  No makeup and hair pulled up... it's the way to go!  :)

Day 13: This Week

So I am going to do a Monday through Sunday week as to be able to include today.  :)

Monday... I worked 8-5 at Maurices.  It was a pretty typical day.  I then was offered a new job with Allstate/Michele Allen based on getting certified as a Insurance Sales Provider.

Tuesday... I worked 8-6 again at Maurices, and that's the day I informed several people in the store that I was going to be leaving.  It was really hard for me.

Wednesday... I worked 8-5 again at Maurices, but today was the day our District Manager visited.  I really like Toni a lot.  I informed her I was leaving, and it was hard.  We passed our audit which was great.  I then practiced for a Relief Society thing.  Hopefully we are still going to be singing. 

Thursday... I worked 8-430 again at Maurices, and it was a pretty good day.  We worked on getting things completed and fixed up that needed to be done.  Then it was time to do laundry and get things together for a little trip.

Friday... Hung around the house for a bit, and then off to Tyler and then Dallas!!  We ate at yummy On The Border and then Saltgrass that night.  Oh so good!!!

Saturday... SIX FLAGS OVER TEXAS!!!  We love amusement parks and roller coaster rides.  We got another character picture drawn like we did last year.  This year we are riding rides instead of just married.  :)  Taco Cabana was our next food spot before driving back.

Sunday... FIRST ANNIVERSARY!!  Today we slept in late, enjoyed time together, took a walk, and will end up at Brandon's parents for a steak dinner and our cake.  :-/  Yes, I'm nervous about the cake.

Day 12: What's In My Bag

Oh goodness, I'm not completely sure that I can say what is in my bag.  I know my wallet is there and some pain medication.  There are some prescriptions... three to be exact.  I have my planner and pens.  There is probably some lip gloss and capstick too.  I have some work keys in there too.  Maybe that's it, but there may be some other things that I just don't know about.  :)  LOL!

Day 11: My Siblings

Well, I only have one sibling by blood, but I have 5 in-laws, and I count them.  :)

Kevin, my younger brother, is absolutely amazing.  He looks older than me because he is so dang tall and bigger than me.  We are pretty opposite in a lot of ways, but love each other dearly.  He is so talented in music.  It just amazes me with all that he can do.  We lived together in an apartment for a year, and it was good and bad.  We got on each others nerves, but at the same time, I think we grew closer.  He married a wonderful lady 6 months before I got married.

Shannon, my brother's wife, is very talented as well.  We don't know each other very well, but I know she's great for my brother, and that's all that matters to me!  :)

Brandon has two older brothers who are both married, and they are all great.  I've really only gotten to know one of my sister-in-laws, Emily, and she's great.  I know the others are wonderful too.  Lance and Mary Ann live in Utah.  Ryan is in the Army.  It's hard not being around each other, but I hope one day I'll get to know them more.

Day 10: What I Wore Today

Today was a little bit of a relaxed day for me.  I wore my MEK Denim jeans, black cami, white burnout, and black vneck cardigan.  I wore my grey and pink Nike shoes.  After work, I threw on some short sweatpants and a t-shirt to go walking and relax.  It's been a comfortable day.  Not as dressed up as I normally am, but it was nice.  :)

Day 9: My Beliefs

I believe in a loving Heavenly Father who is my Father and knows me.  I believe in a Savior who gave His life for me.  He is my elder brother and friend.  I believe in the atonement, and that it can save me.  It is there so that I can repent and return home.  I believe in a living prophet who receives revelation still this day for the world.  I believe in the ability of being able to receive personal revelation.  I believe in love and compassion.  I believe that you are blessed for the good things you do, even if it isn't in the way you want it.  I believe in forever.  I believe that there is life after death, and that there is still opportunity to grow and learn.  I believe in change.  I believe in making sacrifices.  I believe in family, and the importance of marriage between a man and woman.  My beliefs are deep, and important to me.  My beliefs help direct my life.

Day 8: A Moment

There have obviously been a lot of moments in my life as life is made of moments, but one that comes to mind is the night that Brandon and I decided to get married.

The week or so prior had consistent of some interesting moments for us.  We had taken a walk, and we both could tell that there was something we wanted to say or share but both were nervous to say anything.  The evening of my friend, Sadie's wedding reception was the night that I finally got Brandon to tell me that he loved me.  It was funny as I knew he wanted to share something after we got back from the awkward night, but he just wouldn't say it.  I pushed enough to where he finally said "I love you, okay."  I was shocked, but knew I loved him too.  It was hard in some ways to let him in so much because I had never really loved someone that way in awhile, and I wasn't 100% sure if I was over the last guy I had loved that way.

The evening of August 16, well, the early morning of August 17 was when we decided we wanted to get married.  Brandon could tell that something was on my mind, and had to pull it out of me as I did him.  I told him that I could see us together for a really long time.  He agreed, and then we both were like, "are we talking about marriage?"  It was amazing.  We talked all night about it, and how right it felt.  We talked about families and timing of everything.  I even got flowers at work a couple days later.  We were both excited to know that we did find our other half that made us so happy.

Day 7: My Best Friend

Well, for me I don't have just one best friend.  I have a few best friends who are absolutely amazing.

Brandon is for sure my best friend.  He is my husband and lover.  He is the one that can comfort me the most, and the one I wish would talk to me the most about different things while I vent or try to figure things out.  Lucky for me, he's not so much the type.  LOL!  But none the less, I love him greatly!  He is my best friend because he won my heart.

Emily Field is my evil twin.  She knows me inside and out.  She makes me laugh, and will listen no matter what.  We can go a long time without talking, and once we get together, it's like no time has passed.  Emily takes care of me when I need it.  I miss my twin a lot!

Kaitlin Wray is another best friend.  She is amazing, and I'm so glad we had classes together.  We became instant friends, and wow, the things we can talk about.  She's not afraid of telling me when I need to straighten up, but is willing to love me no matter what.  I miss the late night chats, and the many runs to Chick-fil-a!

Those are the three people I would call my best friends.  I know I have some friends who I am very close with, but those are certainly my best friends.  Also, as I've talked about before, my mom is my best friend too.  :)

Day 6: My Day

My day has been a good day, but a long day.  I worked from 9am - 4:45pm straight.  I was hoping to get out earlier, but there was a lot to do at work.  We have inventory coming up, and so much to get done.  It's not good when you get 30+ boxes a couple days before inventory.  I then got to hang out with my good friend Emily.  It was good to be able to catch up with her, and we enjoyed that over food at Casa Tomas.  Good food - poor service!  Now, I am going to enjoy my evening in my pj's!  :)  And probably wash some clothes since I need to get that done, and I have work for the next five days.

Day 5: Definition of Love

Love is never-ending; love is forgiving.  One does not decide when love happens as it's a natural feeling that binds two people together in friendship, marriage, and any other types of relationships.  Love is peace and happiness.  Love is charity.  Love has no start or stop button.  True love is something we all long for, and once we find it, it is something we never want to let go of.

I have found my true love, and I never want to let him go.  It has taken me time to truly realize it, but it is amazing!!

Day 4: What I Ate

Oh... let's see what I actually ate today, and yes, it's sad.

A few starbursts
2 100 Calorie Special K Fruit Chews
4 small corn tortillas with cheese and pepperoni
Box of Kraft Mac & Cheese

Believe me, I know my eating habits are HORRIBLE, but junk is always tastier.  hehe

Day 3: My Parents

Oh, I don't even know what to say about my parents besides the fact that they are amazing!!

My mom has become one of my best friends.  We can talk about EVERYTHING, and literally, everything!  I know things that most kids would never want to know about their parents, and I love it.  I'm glad we have that type of relationship that we can be best friends.  She has been a great example to me, and has tried to teach me things over the years.  Unfortunately, I didn't always pay attention, but I know she tried.  My mom is always there when I need her, and we talk all the time.  My mom is a friend to every one, and it's rare that she meets a stranger.  If you need an ear, she is certainly someone you can go to.  A quick funny story about my mom... back in 2003, I got my second ticket within a year and so I had to defer my ticket so it wouldn't go on my record.  In 2004, the missionaries in my ward (Jordan and Seth) wanted to race me and I said I couldn't because I was on probation.  I was in a sense.  They came over for dinner one night, and some how that came up.  My dad just looked at me like what are they talking about, and I played it off somehow.  Oh, the dirty looks I gave those boys.  LOL!  Church was the next day, and when I was leaving, I found a note on my car from my mom saying "I know nothing.  Sorry."  My dad had started to question her, and she played it off as she didn't know about my ticket.  Needless to say, I felt horrible, and went home to tell my dad what happened.  I told him I didn't say anything to him because I took care of it.  I never said that mom knew though.  All was well, and topic dropped.  :)  I love the trust my mom and I have for each other.

My dad has been my rock and strength through so much.  He is the one I go to for advice, but not before I've thought it through and made a plan.  My dad taught me to think, to plan, and to commit.  He taught me that friendship was important, but family was all you really needed.  That has been hard to learn over the years, but I understand why he says that.  To him, his family is everything.  To get an "I love you" or "I am proud of you" from my dad makes me cry.  He's not an emotional person as I don't know if he has ever cried.  I certainly have not seen it, but the look in his eyes will tell you everything.  I remember the day I got married, and when he came to get me, he just looked at me and said why are you nervous.  He was as calm as day, and like, you know you made the right choice and you are happy, so what's to worry about.  Maybe deep down he was nervous too, but I certainly never saw it.  One special moment with my dad is one night, very, very late, I was super upset by my boyfriend at the time (my first love), and thought it was the end of the world.  I couldn't sleep, and I just cried for hours.  My dad happened to wake up, and came in to find me a mess.  All he did was lay down with me and hold me.  That meant the world to me.

I love my parents so much!!

Day 2: First Love

Oh... my first love was when I was 16 years old, and I lived in Waycross, Georgia.  His name is Terrel Blaine Hood (and is happily married with 2 girls and a child on the way).  I thought he was everything, and no matter what he said or did, he could never seem to do wrong in my eyes.

We were "together" for about three years, but part of that time he was on a mission and even part of that time was confusing and weird.  But we for sure dated just over a year.

He was cute, tall, and older.  He made me laugh, and I loved his family.  Terrel helped me learn about the Church as all my lessons were held at his house.  He taught me repentance, and how much that was needed.  He made me feel special in the oddest of ways.  I loved it when he would get jealous, and would do anything to make sure everyone knew I was his and he was mine.

It was a fun relationship, and certainly a growing one as I know I learned a lot about myself.  But I also developed a lot of self-esteem issues.  Oops!

I have only truly loved three guys that I have dated... like more than a friendship love, and remember so much from all three relationships.  I obviously married the third.

Day 1: Introduce Yourself

Hi, my name is Angela Louise Rushton.  I have been married just shy of a year to Brandon Neal Rushton, and it's been an interesting ride.  We are owners of a Lhasa Apso names Lexie Jo.  She will be 5 years old in September.  Also, we are owners of a kitten named Squeaker.  She will be one year old in July.  We rescued her, and even bottle feed her.  They are both my babies, and love me greatly.  As I write this, they are both on the couch by me.  It's pretty fun.  Within the next year we will begin talking about starting a family and seeing what happens from there.  I am excited to have my own family.

I have three college degrees:  Associate of Science - Leading to a BBA, Bachelor of Science - Business with an emphasis in Marketing, and a Bachelor of Science - Child and Family Development.  I loved being in class and learning new things, but I hated paying money for those who didn't care about teaching and never really taught.  It burns one out quickly.  My favorite part of college life was the organizations I got to be a part of, the friends I made, serving as a Resident Advisor for a year at Westminster College, and dancing for three years.  There are so many memories of college life that I will never forget.  I just wish I had people to talk about them with as my husband doesn't want to hear about my past life.  I'm supposed to be innocent and pure.  LOL!

My life currently consists of fashion, management, and cleaning.  I work for Maurices, and love it.  It's a wonderful company, and I enjoy what I do.  I do, however, notice that I begin to care more about how I look and what is happening there than I probably should.  But I just love it!  I get my nails done and love the tanning bed!  I have always loved those things.

I miss many things from my past, and wish some of those things were still there.  I have more guy friends that I am close to than girl friends, but my guy friends are kept more private.  It's not always easy and certainly not how I like it, but it's how things are sometimes.  Life is certainly interesting.

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and it's been a big part of my life since 1999.  No, it has not always been easy being a member, but I know that there are so many wonderful things in my life because of it.  I know that there are many blessings that will come from my membership, and I could never let those things go.  They are too close to my heart.  It is because of the church that I met my husband, and I am grateful that that is where we met.

Believe that is it about me.  I'm not hard to figure out, and a pretty easy going person.  Usually too serious, but I love having fun and being crazy.