As I sit here tonight procrastinating homework, sleep, and other responsibilities, I decided to sit and write out some thoughts I've had through out the day.
From the start of the day, I didn't feel motivated. I had many things that I needed to do; however, it was a force to do any of it. A friend of mine asked me what was the first thing that came to mind that I wanted to do. It was cuddle; to be held and watch a movie. I didn't care what movie, but just the fact that I wanted to be held. Jared was the first to come to mind, and so much of me wishes that wasn't the case. I guess he's just the last guy that I've really felt safe and happy around, and therefore, he's going to be the one that comes to mind. I don't know.
School wasn't too bad. It was a pretty mellow day for me as I only had one class today as the other was independent study. I worked for a couple professors, and that was it. Education is so important to me, and I'm excited about the things that are happening. I don't know where my life is headed, but I'm heading somewhere. I'm planning my life for a single life, and will let the rest take place when/if it's supposed to happen.
I got to babysit some cute kids today, as I do most Thursdays. They were so hyper, but it was fun. It's nice to be able to babysit as it's a great fill for me. I get to spend time with children and love on them as I don't have my own. I'm greatful for that!
After babysitting, I went to find out when I'm working next week and then decided to go down to Maurice's. I love that store. haha I bought a couple things (which I think I tend to shop more when I'm stressed/depressed). Then the Store Manager and I were talking some as we've interacted with each other on several different occassions. Well, she was trying to recruit me. It was cool as it's something I've thought about doing. It would be fun to be in clothing again, and she would be fun to work with. However, my availability is not the best right now, and I don't think it's really going to get any better. I have around a year left with my Bachelor's degree and then around a year for my Master's. After that, I plan on leaving. During those few years, it's going to be busy.
Afterwards, I head out to Aaron's house for our YSA Thursday night activity. Not too much to say about it except that I appreciate Aaron opening up his home and doing all he did.
Yea - life really is good and I'm happy with a lot of things; however, I'm feeling alone. I often wonder if I want to get a roommate or not, but at the same time, I enjoy having my space. It's a catch 22 for me. But I do know that I wish I had that one person who I knew I could always go to and spend time with. To cuddle, to laugh, to cry, to enjoy, etc. *shrug* Oh well! Things happen for a reason, and I know that without a doubt! So... things are happening the way they are for a reason!
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