Random Thinking

Have you ever missed someone or several people so much? People you were once so close to and pretty much inseperable. And yet, you now wonder if they ever miss you. When you see them, they beg you to not leave and want to find a way for you to stay. You leave, and you never hear from them.

I'm going through that right now. I have friends who I thought would always be my friend. Yet, it has become so one sided. I try and try to keep those friendships, and it's thrown back in my face. It's hard. It's hard going through this life feeling as if you are doing it alone in some ways.

I miss my friends in Utah so much, and yet, I hear from one or two of them every once in awhile. One of my closest friends out there... I haven't heard from her since July, and that saddens me a lot. These are friendships I cherished. Friendships that were real. I could be me... truly me, and they liked it. I guess I just don't understand friendships... true friendships.

Just something I've been thinking about as I continue on with my life. I will complete my 25th year of life next month, and I have been thinking a lot about where I am and what I'm doing with my life. The Lord must trust me as He keeps handing me things to do, and I often wonder if I can do it all, but I know He knows if I can or not.