Wants, But Unworthy

I feel so unworthy for the things I want so much... to date, to be important to the people around me, to set an example that others want to follow, and to be a true disciple of Christ.

Dating... No, there aren't a lot of options here in Nacogdoches, TX or really around me, but there are a few. However, I don't feel that I'm pretty enough, or strong enough in the gospel. I feel that I always say the wrong things at the wrong time, or just don't say anything. I try to not care about it so much, but that's hard when you know the importance of dating and finding at eternal companion. When it's the one thing people are always asking you about or trying to push.

Importance... I really don't know if people would recognize if I wasn't around. There might be a few, but overall, I really just don't know if I'm that important to anyone. A lot of the times I just feel that I'm being used because people know that I'll do anything I can to help out. I have a VERY hard time saying no, and honestly, it's so rare that I say no that I don't remember the last time I said it.

Example... Disciple of Christ... These go together as the Savior was the greatest example, and to be a disciple of Christ is to follow His example and make it a part of your life. I'm not perfect, and I know that I won't be perfect here on Earth. However, there are so many more things that I could and should do in my life. I want to be that light people are wanting to have in their life. I want to be someone that is able to put aside my own cares and concerns for others. I can think of all the things that I don't do, and can barely think of anything I do right.

Maybe I'm just being really hard on myself, but it's how I feel right now. OH... Jared called me for the first time in 6 months!!