Once it's going good...

Have you ever noticed that when life seems to be going good for you, and that you are actually accepting where you are that in just a moment, you are knocked down? Well... if you haven't had that, then lucky you!!

I seem to have that a lot, but usually over the same thing (darn satan knowing what my greatest desires are). Just this week, and especially tonight, it hit me hard again. I was beginning to accept and be okay with where I am in my life. No, it's not great, but I was accepting it. Being 25 2/3 and single isn't all that bad until you realize that someone who is 16 is getting married. Then you talk to a friend, and she's like it's okay, I've been a bridesmaid two times, and the way it goes, bridesmaid three times, always a bridesmaid. Well... I've been one at least 5 times. So that didn't make me feel any better, even if I know that's not really the case.

Right now, it just doesn't seem like that's ever going to be a part of me... that my greatest desires are not for this life. I don't like feeling that way!! I don't like it at all!! It makes me think that I'm doing something wrong, and yet, I'm not sure what that is.

Like my last post, I don't know what I'm supposed to do or where I'm supposed to be. I just know that I'm tired of feeling this way, I'm tired of coming home to be alone, I'm tired of feeling like I don't fit... I'm just tired!

Once it's going good... it just all seems to fall.