Temple Trip

Well, the YSA went to the Temple today. It was a great day as we had 20 YSA members there. Let me tell you... that's a record!! It was really good to see others from the Longview Stake, and then the Gilmer and Tyler Stakes as well.

Nacogdoches/Lufkin YSA

A Little Update

School is going to be crazy!! This semester is going to be crazy!!

Right now, I'm trying to figure out when I'm going to be able to do all the things I need to do and have time to do the things I want to do. Yes, some of those things are the same, but not all of them. I don't know how it's all going to work out, but I guess it'll work out.

I am taking 18 credits this semester, which is 6 classes. 4 lecture classes, and 2 online classes. All of them requiring a lot of work. Many papers and projects to write! A couple things to video or record. Several tests, homework assignments, and just stretching me.

I am working with 7 professors starting on Monday which is 10.5 hours a week. I'm excited to work with these professors, get to know them more, and just be of service.

I am still working at Petsense, and will be working there between 10 and 20+ hours a week. It will depend on the week, but will usually work Mondays, Tuesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays.

I am involved with a few organizations on campus in different ways. I am a HMS Ambassador which is a representative of the School of Human Sciences. I am the VP for the Child and Family Development Club. Of course I'm involved with anything that goes on with LDSSA which includes Institute every Wednesday night. And then I try to volunteer and help out with other things when possible.

I babysit once a week, and love it! It's usually only for an hour or so, but it's fun. And I have had someone else ask for me to babysit for them. Not on a regular basis, but they know that I wouldn't mind doing that when possible. I love to be with children of all ages.

I now have 4 callings at Church. I am the YSA President, 12-13 year old Sunday School Teacher, Assistant Relief Society Pianist (mainly just conduct music when needed), and a visiting teacher. The last one is the one I struggle with the most as I'm trying to find time to meet up with my companion and then meet up with three other girls. It's hard! But I know it's important!!! It's what brought me back to Church a few years ago.

And of course, I try to find time to workout, be with my family, spend time with Lexie (my dog), and do things that a young single adult should do. Right now, I'm not sure how it's going to all fit into just 168 hours a week, but it'll work.

Okay - this was longer than a little update, but it really is pretty short compared to what all I have happening. Now, I must work on some homework and get ready for the temple tomorrow!

One Less Thing

So... I felt like posting a little blog before I went to bed to say that I'm pretty excited about the upcoming semester. There is a lot going on, and many decisions to start making. My life is going, and it's going at a pretty fast pace. I mean, I really wouldn't want it any other way.

Church wouldn't be "normal" to me if I wasn't involved in every meeting in some way or another. Like tomorrow, I will be teaching my 12-13 year old Sunday School class, and then off to teaching in Relief Society. I love being busy, and people just know that I won't say no. It's good and bad.

Well, as most know, (but not everyone) I've been working 4 jobs. Three real jobs, and then babysitting on a regular basis. Babysitting isn't a job to me, but something I love! I see it as helping someone out, and getting a chance to play with cute kids! (THANKS AMY! :-)) I have been working at Petsense since September 2007, and still there. I then became a Pet Nutrition Specialist for Nutro Products in August 2008, and a Student Assistant for one professor (and friend) at SFA in November 2008.

Well... I'm picking up four more professors at school this semester which is exciting. But more exciting than that... I'm no longer a Pet Nutrition Specialist. :-) One less job to be working, and that just makes me smile. It paid me well, but at the same time, I was bored out of my mind!! So... I'm now available to work more at Petsense, but at the same time, my boss there works with my schedule so well! It really has been a blessing!!

Okay, time for bed! But I do have to say... I'm not always happy with my life or with where I am in my life, but I know without a doubt in my mind that I am exactly where I should be, and doing exactly what I should be doing!! Having that knowledge makes EVERYTHING so much easier!!

Today... What Turned Out To Be Pretty Good

I love Sundays, but sometimes I wonder how they are really going to turn out. Today, all in all was a really good day.

It was hard to get out of bed this morning, but once I was up, I was moving. Getting ready for Church, I have to say that I actually felt pretty. That was a first for me in awhile, so that certainly makes for a good day.

Church was another busy day for me as I gave a talk during Sacrament, taught the 12-13 year old Sunday School class, enjoyed Relief Society, a pretty long Ward Council meeting, and then I got a little break to actually eat some food and watch "The Errand of Angels" again. 5pm hit, and it was time to be home taught, work on some scheduling stuff, and then off to the Church to set up for the CES Broadcast to hear from our Prophet, President Thomas S. Monson. After the broadcast, I came home and talked to a few friends online while starting to look at some graduate school programs. Okay - I only looked at BYU, and then got distracted with my conversations. haha But they were good conversations!

My talk... I was given the topic of Christ. I could speak on anything I felt inspired that dealt with Christ. While I was trying to figure this out, I turned to the March 2008 Ensign which is all about Christ. BINGO! Now... what to say, what to really focus upon. Yea, I was confused, and it came together late last night. I just prayed that it would be okay, and touch at least one person. I know it helped me as the article/section I chose was "Becoming a Witness of Christ." Certainly something I needed as I'm trying to become more like Him every day. I have a long, long way to go, but I'm going. Many came up to me afterwards and through out our meetings saying that they enjoyed my talk or that I did a good job. Some said that I just have an ease of speaking. It felt good to hear those things because I knew that the Spirit spoke through me to others. That I was able to say what the Lord wanted said, and that others were able to hear and understand. I can promise that if it was just me, no one would have appreciated that talk at all.

And so you know, for those who were not there, the three ways that Elder D. Todd Christofferson states that we become a witness of Christ is 1) to receive a sure, personal testimony that He lives; 2) to live so as to reflect His teachings; and 3) to help others come unto Him. I think the greatest part of that is that He lives!! He is the Living Christ!! I look forward to the day that I can walk with Him and talk with Him personally. Until that day comes, whenever that day is, I will do all I can to get to know Him better and how to better serve Him. It's the least I could do for someone who set the way for me to be able to return home to my Father.

The New Year... So Far

It is already the 9th day of the new year, and wow, it's been a busy year. My year has already started with trials and learning moments. I'm hoping for a good year; at least a year that was better than 2008!

Here is a break down of things I've already done this year... some days even with pictures. :-)

1) Spent the day in the Woodlands with my friend, Brittany! We went out to eat at Cafe Adobe, and just spent time talking. We haven't seen each other since August 2004... just a few days before I moved to Utah. Our friendship is proof that you don't have to talk to someone all the time or even see each other to have a strong, lasting friendship! We are still just as close as we were when we went to AC.

2) I spent the morning at work (Petsense), and then I spent the evening with the Newman's. They have become my adopted family, and some very dear friends! I think this night I realized more than anything that I need to just be patient and focus on school.

3) I didn't get to bed till like 5:30am, so I spent the morning sleeping. Then the evening was spent at work.

4) CHURCH! It was a good day with a great lesson in Relief Society! The lesson was on temples, and it was good. Hard for me as I seem to have a love/hate relationship when it comes to conversations on eternal families. Just hard because of what I want with my own personal family, but at the same time, it's what brought me into the Church. FHE was pretty good that night too with the YSA.

5) I cleaned up around my apartment, and tried to get more things up and organized. Here are a couple pictures of just my front entrance area. (More pictures to come once I feel it's okay to show) THEN I spent a few hours with my parents as we watched the UT/Ohio State game!! HOOK 'EM HORNS!! :-)

6) I worked, and then continued to take care of things around my apartment.

7) I was visit taught for the month, and got my package from Deseret Books! I was really excited to get my package! I got a few new books, a cd, and the movie "Errand of Angels". It's a really good movie, and after watching it and talking with my friend, Jen, who got home from her mission in November... I'm still thinking about maybe serving. Just not sure if it's what I should do or not?!?! I then worked for the whole evening.

8) I spent the day with my mother! It was a good day. We hung out some at the house, and then did some shopping/errands. I got a few things from Hobby Lobby, and then the best thing ever, wall flowers from Bath & Body Works... only $5 each!! They are a regular price of $12.50! Oh - I was so very excited!! My mom then gave me some food, and off I went to come home, check on my dog, and then babysit the Curnutt's! I love those kids!

9) Today... I worked!! I worked 10 hours straight -- Petsense and Nutro. Yea, I'm tired! But now, I am about to finish this blog and try to prepare my talk for Sunday. So many different thoughts are going through my mind, and I just hope and pray that it'll come together!

One last picture... it is of Lexie, my baby. It's hard to believe that she's two years old!!

In Response

So I've thought about your comments a lot over the past couple of weeks along with my own thoughts, and I felt I should write what I've come up with and then to respond to each of you individually. This would have been done sooner, but I JUST got my internet back up and running today after my very long moving period.

My Thoughts
Obviously I still want to date, and that is probably always going to be there when I'm not dating, but I know from my own personal experience that I can't date non-members. I'm the type of person that puts my all into the person I'm dating, and by doing so, I fall for that person which could possibly lead me away from the things that really are important to me. However, there is nothing wrong with hanging out with non-members, even in a one-on-one setting.

I have also gotten the strong impression... again... that I need to just be patient and wait. I know what I'm waiting on, and I think I'm starting to learn more of what I need to do before that can happen. It's going to take time, and it's going to be hard. BUT - that's where I have to let others in, and allow them to help me where I need help. It's true; I'm stubborn, and it's hard for me sometimes to just let others help.

Caryn
I've thought a lot about that lesson as it's something that I've really wanted to change more in my life. My faith is what has gotten me through all these years, and especially the last two years that I've been in Texas. If it wasn't for my faith, I would have fallen and probably a lot worse off than what I am during the down parts of my days. As for my patriarchal blessing, it is read often along with the blessings I've been given through the years. They give me hope - more often than not, but certainly can leave me with questions. I'm the type of person that wants to be the best I can at everything I do. OCD and perfectionist are two things that can cause a lot of pain, but yet, can be very good. But don't worry, I'm going to keep trying! I know if I don't, you'll have my butt. :-)

Heidi
Service is certainly not something I have a problem doing as I am always out there helping other people. That's something I love to do, and will always put first. The biggest thing I need to do out of what you said is "stop thinking about it."

Emily
I love you too, and I have no doubt that I will laugh about some of these posts in the future. Actually, I already laugh at the things that bother me from day to day. I tend to wonder why I even cared so much about something - after the fact of course. Kristen Oaks is an amazing woman, and she did wait for many years till the opportunity was right for her to have her greatest desire. Her and Sheri Dew are two women I look up to with much awe and amazement.

Marsha
I can teach and help everyone around me, but when it comes to me, I have the hardest time. And it's sad because I do truly believe and want everything I say to others. The wait for marriage is actually the easy part... it's the wanting to date, but not having that opportunity, that's hard. And I hope that I will have the opportunity to plant many seeds and be that person to help someone find something so much greater through the gospel of Jesus Christ through my example. It is my greatest gift to give to anyone as it was the greatest gift that I received in this life!

Autumn
Thank you! It is hard, but I have often thought about how hard it would be to raise children in a home without those common teaches and beliefs. I, too, am glad that Tyson accepted the gospel and you are able to have your forever family!! The time I was in Lufkin, I saw the change in your family and the light just grow!

Mary
How right you are when you say that my life is happening right now?!? Often times I step back and wonder how I've even made it through the week or even just through some days. Life is happening, and it is happening fast! And I could never settle for anything less than a temple marriage! I really couldn't! To think about spending my life with someone, for it to end at death makes me wonder why people even bother. If I love someone enough to spend this life with them, I want it to be forever!!

Kayla
Thank you for your support! It is hard watching those around you get married as you just chill there by yourself. It gets hard at times to think of all my friends getting married and having babies. At times I wonder what I'm doing wrong, but you are right, this just may be my "jail time" and I'm being refined. The Lord knows who I need to be and where I need to be in my life so that I will be as ready as I can be to not only have that amazing temple marriage to my amazing eternal companion, but to be ready to raise His sons and daughters to do all that they need to do.

THANK YOU!! I say that to everyone one of you as I have watched you all, even if you never knew I was watching. You each have qualities and characteristics that I admire and want to apply in my life. Because of each one of you, I really do want to be a better person! So thank you for being that example to me, and for being a friend to me... even when I'm being dumb.

I want to close this blog with a quote from the December Visiting Teaching message. One of my Visiting Teachers gave me this part of the quote that I now keep in my scriptures to remember, and I think it's just fitting.

"... With the hope of the Atonement and the Resurrection, you have a third great hope, the hope of eternal life... Because you have a Savior, you also believe in a happy, eternal life of creating, serving, and learning. You are already in the strait and narrow path, and there is hope smiling brightly before you... You just need to stay in, pressing forward with a brightness of hope."
- Julie B. Beck, Relief Society General President

I'm Stuck

Okay, so I could really use some input. It doesn't have to be on here, but some kind of input would be great. I know that most of those who read my blogs are Latter-day Saints which is my basis for this.

So, I'm a Latter-day Saint Young Single Adult (LDS YSA); I'm even qualified as a Mid-Single now since I'm 25 (26 in 3 months). Living in Nacogdoches, this is really hard in the dating part of life. I want to date; I want to get to know others. Yet, I've pretty much gone on a date with every single guy here who's LDS. Now I'm to the point that I'm looking at those who not have the same faith as I (even though that doesn't always mean much) and it scares me.

What scares me, you ask? The fact that I'll fall in love with someone one day who doesn't have the same faith as myself, and I maybe never have the temple marriage I want. Yes, that is looking into the future a lot, but at the same time, you date who you marry. So do I risk having those future things happening to at least date and have those experiences, or do I not date and just sit at home? I've never dated a lot, and so it's not really something I know. Do I "flirt to convert" or just hope a strong member comes along that will treat me how I should be treated?

Why does it seem that the guys that treat me the best are non-members? No, they may not have all the same standards as I do being LDS, but I can promise you that they care more about me and what's happening in my life than most members that I've dated. I can be myself more with them, and maybe that seems like I'm not holding all the standards I should, but I do.

What are your thoughts? As I am right now, I'm almost to the point that I'm just going to be career focused completely, and if I'm still single by 35, giving up on having kids and having it all removed. I mean, I'm sure I'll change my mind on down the road or whatever, but right now, it almost feels impossible to ever find a member who I could date and maybe have a future with. The ones that I like (but no one ever knows) either move away or I leave before we ever have a chance to date, even though we both know that there is interest.

I know some of what I want, but I also know that I want to share this life with someone.