This week is almost over, and I'm not ready for it to be done yet. I'm not ready for it to be done because I still have so many things to do. Yes, that means I probably shouldn't be on here, but I wanted to try to get some things out of my head to see if that would help me focus a little more. It probably won't, but it's worth the shot! :-)

EFY begins on Saturday for me with training and such. I'm really excited, but VERY nervous. I don't feel ready for it at all in SO many ways. I am trying to hope for the best, but right now, I feel all over the place. There are still many, many things that I need to do to prepare myself and hope that I can be an instrument for the Lord in teaching and leading the youth.

Summer I is almost over, and wow, there's a good bit to do. I've gotten most of the things for my lab completed, and I only have a couple tests left for the actual class. I can't believe that after I get back from EFY, I will only have 4 days left of Summer I. I will work that week, and then will not be back on campus unless I'm getting things taken care of for getting into graduate school or with JCFR. Oh - so much to do!

Still dating, and loving it! It's been a lot of fun the past month, and yes, I believe I'm kind of hooked, but it's okay. I'm making the best of what is given me, and just trying to let the Lord guide the rest. It's not easy, and I have no clue what's going to happen. But I love his company!! I really enjoy being around him, and I never thought that would be possible. This is certainly one "relationship" that I never saw happening... EVER!

Life is good, but certainly a lot happening. I have many thoughts, and the stress/anxiety is kind of up right now, but I hope that things will calm down here soon.

Well, I guess it's either back to working on school stuff or getting sleep. :-)

Lots of Driving

Well... tomorrow beings one of many trips down to San Antonio for the next several weeks. This weekend is just a two day trip, but I'm really excited! We are heading down to just get away from Nacogdoches, and do something fun. The plans are pretty much in the air for tomorrow, but on Saturday, we are going to Fiesta Texas. I've never been, so I'm really excited. I love rollercoasters, and the last time I was on one was probably October 2003 when I went to Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio with Jared and another couple. This weekend will be great!!!

Then next weekend, and two weekends after that, I will be driving down to San Antonio to attend EFY as a Camp Counselor! I'm really excited as I've never had an opportunity to be a part of EFY until now. It's going to be a wonderful experience, and a couple really long weeks!! :-)

In the middle of all this driving (which really, I'm not driving this weekend, but will be riding!), I will be finishing up Summer I. Two weeks down and two and a half weeks left to go! There are a lot of things to do, but I think I'll be able to get it done. After this weekend, I'm hitting it all hard and just running. So... if I seem a little out of it, it's probably because I am. I'm seeing little sleep, lots of thinking and working, and just some crazy times!

Life Has Proved to Be Interesting

Things in life have been interesting over the past week. I started up school again for Summer I, and I'm not liking it at all. This is one class that I REALLY can't wait to be over with. It is HMS 241 which is Early Childhood Education, and well, that is an area that I don't really have any interest in learning about. I mean - I guess that's not completely correct as it'll be important to me one day when I have children. But right now, I don't care about making song cards and learning how to be a teacher for children. Maybe part of it is the fact that there's a lot to do, and I just don't have the energy to do it anymore.

I'm working on campus as a Student Assistant, and that's been interesting. I'm working 20 hours a week, and most of it has been sent scanning notebooks and pictures and whatever. It makes for a really long day, but it's nice for the fact that I'm getting hours which means money! :-) It's hard at the same time because I don't really get a break through out the day... at all! I guess I can't really complain too much since I only work Monday through Thursday which means every Friday and Saturday off! And of course Sunday! YAY!

Still dating, and enjoying it! For once, I can say that part of my life is really good, and I'm just excited to see what happens. It's been just over 3 weeks, and it's fun. We are still getting to know each other, and it's a happy time. So yay for dating! hehe (Yes, I'm still pretty much a giddy school girl through all of this!)

Umm... what else is happening in my life?!!? Oh - Church stuff, of course. It really is pretty much the same as it's been in the past. Not too much has changed. I got to attend the Houston Temple yesterday with my friend, Todd. He was going through the Temple for the first time before his mission, and it was a great experience. I was glad that I was able to be there with him and his family. It's hard to know that Todd is getting ready for his mission as I remember him being in Primary. It was just really nice being at the Houston Temple!!

The only other interesting part of the week is pretty much losing a friendship that I've had for the past almost 8 years. Jared and I are not speaking anymore, and that's a hard thought for me right now. Last Sunday and Monday were two interesting days of texting. I have to say that I've never been cussed out and knocked down before through text messages, but now, I can say that I know the experience and I don't want it again!! It hurt a lot!! But that situation certainly proves to me that I'm where I'm supposed to be, and I guess that maybe that season of my life is over. Hard to have seasons end, but that happens.

Hope things are well for everyone else!!!

I Finally Let Go!!

This coming Fall will be 8 years since I met Jared. In the past almost 8 years, I have cared about him and have wanted to be with him. No one ever seemed to truly compare to him as Jared always was "better" in one way or another. There was never any discussion in my mind and my heart who I wanted to be with. Jared was the one, and him and I were working towards making that happen... again.

Well, today I finally did something I never thought I would do. I sent Jared a text message this evening asking him to call me when he wasn't busy, as I know he is normally hanging out with his guy friends. He called after a few messages back and forth, and we had a small casual chit-chat. Then, here it went. I told him that I've cared about him for so long and have always wanted to be with him. I told him that he always won, and that no other guy compared to him... till now. I informed Jared that I've been dating a guy for a little bit, and that I don't know what's going to happen at all. However, I felt that it wasn't fair to Jared to keep him thinking that maybe something could happen, when it wasn't going to happen... ever.

Jared didn't sound heartbroken, and I really do hope we keep our friendship. However, no trip to Memphis for me, and no more random hook ups either. haha In all seriousness, I know this was the BEST thing for me, and exactly what was needed to be done. Jared said "that's fine," and for me to get that kind of response helps me know even more that it wasn't what was needed in my life.

I'm glad that I was finally able to let him go! Now, it's time for me to enjoy the things happening in my life, and well, be more me!! :-)

Life... It's, well, AMAZING!

Life is pretty dang amazing right now!! I am all moved into my new place, and now just have to get it all organized. Once it's all together, I'll get some pictures up. I'm enjoy my new little place. It's different from having a full apartment, but at the same time, I really don't need anything huge. I'm very content with my little space. Everything has a place, and it's staying all neat and tidy.

There are new things happening in my life that are fun, but I'm not really talking too much about them right now till I know what is going to happen. AKA I'm avoiding as much outside talk/drama as I possibly can. :-) But life is great!

I think I'm really starting to get ready to leave Petsense. I dread going to work every day that I am scheduled, and can never wait to get off. It's boring, and the same ole routine every day. That just doesn't fit with my personality!

Maymester is over, and I got an A in my class! Summer I starts on Monday, and it should be a good class. 4 weeks and then I'll have another class out of the way. I will be missing one week for EFY, but that's okay. It'll all work itself out, and be rewarding!

Another fun thought is that I don't think I'm going to go to Memphis in August. I was planning on heading up there for a weekend; however, there are a few different things happening or not happening that just cause me to feel that I don't need to be up there. I'm where I need to be, and I'm seeing that even more. Two years ago, I was told that if I left Nacogdoches too early, I would miss out on all that was in store for me. I'm so grateful that I listened, and have stayed. I don't think I would be this happy if I had left!!

Seriously... for the first time in awhile, I'm happy!!! I have laughed more in the past week than I have in a long time, and how amazing that is!! I have a few great friends that have allowed me to be me, and have been the ones I've been able to laugh with. Kaitlin - she's freakin' amazing!!! Michael - will always be like a "big brother" figure in the way he looks out for me, and I love it!!! Those are the two I've probably laughed the most with over the past week, and it's just been great!!