Change of Life

Do you ever just get to a point in your life that you aren't very happy with your life... whatever the reason may be? Well... I'm there now.

There are several things in my life that I'm not too happy with or just confused by that are just kind of happening. But then there are those things that I can control or at least help direct a little more than I do. Right now, I've been thinking a lot about my appearance. I know that's weird. I know that I shouldn't worry so much about my appearance, but that's probably been one of the hardest things in my life.

I've grown up feeling more like an object than just a female. Different things have happened in my life... some things that I've told people, and other things that maybe one person knows. And it's not anything that I really dwell upon, but at the same time, it's something that I know has affected me in many different ways. It has affected me in the way I react in situations and how I see myself.

I want that to change. I want to be happy with who I am and how I look. If I gain weight, I want to be able to be okay with it and deal with it instead of having the words "if you gain weight, I'm going to leave you" going through my head. Yes, I'm single... but I tend to think that part of why I'm single is because of my appearance. Crazy, I know.

So, I'm making some decisions and changes in my life that I think will be good for me overall. I'm going on a diet... okay, not like a HUGE weight loss diet, but a healthy diet. I'm going to start eating a little healthier - not so much munching all day. Also, I'm going to start walking/running every day. I have the time, so why not get out and enjoy the outdoors. It always makes me feel better too.

If I want to be happy... then I have to make myself happy!!