Sunday - Sacrament

So, if you read my blog on Institute, you know I was really excited to be missing out on the marriage lesson. Well... I got it Sunday!

I was sitting in our Sacrament Meeting enjoying the lack of responsibility for the moment and preparing myself to sub in the Valiant 9 Primary class. Sitting next to one of my closest friends, Amanda, who I hadn't seen in a couple of months. The first speaker got up, and she pretty much just bore her testimony and talked of Christ. We sung a song, and then two more speakers... a husband and wife.

The wife gets up, and starts off talking about how a month ago, her and her husband got sealed to each other. OH NO... it's marriage! Then, her husband gets up and... marriage. Yea - I guess I still needed to hear it, and they did a really great job. I know that I felt the spirit when they spoke, and that I don't want anything less than a temple marriage!!! When one is marriage and sealed in the Temple, it's not just two people working together... it's three! With Heavenly Father a part of your relationship, things will just work out so much better and you'll be happier!

I'm excited for that day that I can be married and sealed to my eternal companion, and I know it will come at the exact time that it should. What a beautiful day it really will be! I know as I've watched my other friends get married in the Temple, and how happy they are when it has been done correctly!!

What I Cannot Change

Last night I was able to attend a LeAnn Rimes concert in Lufkin - wow! It was a really good concert, and she can really sing! I say that because there are so many artist out there that are only good recorded. LR is great recorded and live!!

She sang many songs that brought a lot of thought to my mind (as I like to think a lot), and even (can't believe I'm saying this) bring tears to my eyes. One song she sang is called What I Cannot Change and it's from her newest album Family. (If you go to her website http://www.whaticannotchange.com you will be able to get the story behind the song.) This song is one that I loved from the album (#12), and is one that I connect to a lot.

We all have those days that we are just frustrated with everything around us, and just aren't sure what to do. There are those things that get to us - some we can change and some we can't. I know, for me, that there are many things that get to me that I wish I could change, but I can't. There are other things that I will do my best to change to make better - no matter the cost. More importantly, I know what makes me, me. I know my routines and what makes me happy/sad. What makes you tick?

Here is a small list of what makes me tick...
* I have to drink water every morning or I'll have a bad headache.
* I never like to have a quiet apartment/house so you will always find music playing or a movie/tv show on, even if just in the background.
* A child smiling will fix everything in my day.
* I don't know how to say "no", and it's because I'm afraid of what will happen -- good or bad, but usually have thoughts of bad.
* It's rare that I'll ever read a book that is not by a LDS author, and the books I do read are usually help books or teaching books of some kind.
* I love to spend a weekend at home... alone!
* Mirrors are my worst enemy.
* I don't like people to talk about me, even if it's good.
* Someone noticing me -- being present and even more, not present -- helps me know that I'm really not alone; that someone cares.
* I love to dance, and do it all the time!
* The dates I love the most are when nothing big happens. A simple evening of watching a movie at home or going for a walk is far greater of importance to me than actually going out. Those simple things are big!
* I may never tell you how important you are to me or that I love you/ya, but it doesn't mean that you aren't on my mind as you are probably there all the time.
* I hate conflicts!
* I LOVE organization, and what is messy to me is probably really clean to you. Yea, I'm OCD!
* I still sit in my father's lap, even for just a short moment after a really long day.
* I'm easy to tease and pick-on.
* I will never give up on anyone.
* Loyalty is important to me.
* If something doesn't work out, it's my fault - even if it's really not. I'm really just that hard on myself.
* No one will ever reach my expectations... not even me.
* I am shy.
* Very few people know ME, and even fewer people know ALL of me.
* The Gospel of Jesus Christ is my life, my foundation, my rock. Without it, nothing else would matter in my life.

So the list is longer than I thought it would be, but so many things make me, me. This is still a short list. Many things I wish I could change; many things I wish could just be simplier in my life. However, I have to learn to just accept those things that I cannot change, and change those things I can.

I will learn to let go what I cannot change
I will learn to forgive what I cannot change
I will learn to love what I cannot change
But I will change, I will change
Whatever I, whenever I can

Institute

This semester we are studying "The Gospel and the Productive Life." I've actually had this class three times already, so I guess a forth time doesn't hurt. haha

In looking at what we are studying tonight, and what we are going to be studying for the next couple of weeks. I knew there was a lesson on marriage (as it's one I've always enjoyed trying to avoid - when possible), and I was hoping that maybe that would be the lesson on the Wednesday that I do have to miss Institute as I'm going to Little Rock for NCFR. Well... it is!! :-) haha

Now, don't get me wrong - I want to get married and I know the importance of "Selecting and Becoming an Eternal Companion." There is no doubt about it; however, the older you get, I think the more you don't want to hear about it. Not that it's a bad thing, but that you hear about it so much in other areas of life that a break is nice.

Just thought it was kind of funny (it really did make me laugh) that that was the lesson I would be missing. It's also the FHE lesson I missed during the summer when I went to visit Kayla for her birthday. Kind of ironic how things work out. :-) hehe And I really don't do it on purpose!!

Maybe I should read and study alone?! You think?

Stand A Little Taller

I was given a book of scriptures and quotes by Gordon B. Hinckley from Jared a few years back. How I have loved this book, and the daily messages it gives to me each day. It is nothing long or big, but from small and simple things, great things can be.

Reading the scripture and message for today, I happened to look to see what tomorrow holds. How excited I was to read and know that I'm doing just that tomorrow.

Tomorrow is a Temple Day for me and some other fellow YSA members. We are going to attend a session, and I'm excited. It's been a few months since I was able to do a session due to work, crazy schedules, and going to help out with baptisms. How much I love the temple!!!

Here is the message:

LIVE IN, NOT OF, THE WORLD

And verily I say unto thee that thou shalt lay aside the things of this world, and seek for the things of a better.
- Doctrine and Covenants 25:10

All of us live in the world. We cannot live a cloistered life. But we can live in the world without partaking of the unseemly ways of the world.

How grateful I am to know that there is a better way to life than living the way that most live in this world. I know that I am not perfect, and that I have a lot to still learn. But it's great to know that I'm at least striving to do right and become better. It makes me happy to know that I know His great plan - The Plan of Salvation (Happiness), and that my just striving every day to be better than the day before, I can make it. I can do everything that comes my way without too much worry or stress. It is a relief to know that!!

I am truly grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ, and the blessings it has brought into my life. I am grateful for the friendships I have that are real and true; for those who care about me, and help me when I fall. This time on Earth truly is amazing!!

NCFR... Little Rock... Memphis?

At the beginning of November, I have an amazing opportunity to attend a National Council on Family Relations Conference! I'm really excited about this as we get to network with professionals, and hear about different research findings and other information on things that are happening now. Just a really neat experience.

In looking at the workshops I want to attend, I've found out that I'll be done by 3pm on most days... like Friday. Well, Memphis is only 2 hours away, and for anyone who knows me, my ex who I am still CRAZY about lives up there. So, we are going to get together, but aren't sure if he's coming to Little Rock, I'm going to Memphis, or we are just meeting in the middle.

Right now, I'm kind of leaning in so many different directions on what we should do. All I know is that I'm REALLY excited to see him, but VERY scared/nervous at the same time. I shouldn't be, but I am. Anything is possible -man, anything is possible!

What do I do? (And that question is for so many different things.)

I Think...

My mother sent me this postcard in a package while I was living in Utah. When I received it, it made me kind of sad, and I thought it was just another one of those jokes my parents like to play on me. Well, tonight I realized that I think it's really true. I'm making what seemed to once just be a joke, be something that's very real.

"I think; therefore, I am single"

I never thought that my thoughts would keep me single, but I think they are helping out with such. Maybe part of it is the place I live, but at the same time, I tend to analyze and think a lot about things happening around me. I think a lot about looks people give me or how they act towards me or the people around them.

Thinking too much is certainly what I'm doing, and it's certainly helping me stay single. Oh - how I wish I could turn my brain off at times!! Especially tonight, but alas, I will deal with it on and make the best of what I have.